Jealousy and FOMO
My wife and I recently opened up our relationship. When we first opened it up I thought she would want to explore her bisexuality, dating women. I didn't have any issues with this and was excited for her to explore. However, when we opened it up she started dating and falling in love with an older man.
This has been very difficult for me and I need some help with dealing with the jealousy and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) I am experiencing as I have not found another partner yet.
This is a very quick explanation and would be happy to answer any questions anyone has.
Thanks for your help!
@SpringMountain
It is a risk in opening up a relationship ... I have seen pros and cons but often the con comes out .... i feel people need to have rules and boundaries and rules when doing this. Some think this is about sex when in fact the emotional side is where this situation fails.
i have personally witness the end of what i thought was a good marriage.
did you talk about it would be her dating women or you just assumed...
If someone falls in love ... not limerance (look that up if you are not familiar) they might have been missing a connection in your relationship ... i think if you want to fix it you would need to identify the item and be the one who provides that ...
example i have a friend who makes me feel alive and appreciated and compliments me all things my spouse quit doing years ago ..... i know if i was to hook up with this friend it would be end of mine and his marriage so it is more of a what if situation .... where we make each other feel good by just being there and supportive and the basic not nit picking or feeling taken for granted.
i asked to open relationship so i could make friend a FWB type thing ... lost story but if spouse was willing to fill my emotional needs to be told i am beautiful and complimented and supported me like my friend does.......... it might end my need for this friend....
@SpringMountain
Great website and book!
There is a Jealousy Workbook as well.
https://www.amazon.com/Jealousy-Workbook-Exercises-Insights-Relationships/dp/0937609633/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3NEVSTQKP9AG0&keywords=jealousy+workbook&qid=1692396483&sprefix=jealousy+%2Caps%2C138&sr=8-1
Some places you may be able to read or or audio book for free.
I am polyamorous married and nesting partner 21 years ( he has his own partners we do parallel polyamory but all people are know to each other but not kitchen table polyamory).
I have a both a female and male partners ( a couple) 6 years. It takes a ton of communication definitely.
Read and learn more about polyamory certainly helps always be ethical. Compersion is being happy your partner is happy takes work for yourself personally and your marriage didmding quality time.
The new relationship energy phase can be intense when it is a new relationship. Please tell her how you feel and how you can be re assured.
So sorry you are going through this …. You are not alone. Reach out anytime if you wish to chat.
Sending positive vibes across the miles to you both. 💕💕💕
