Leaving someone who left you
When my ex boyfriend left me, it took mr many months to feel alright again. He left because he did not love me enough anymore, but now, after a year of being gone, he wants to come back to me. I rejected him, but I see I should cut our contact also, since he does not really respect my rejection. Why do I feel so stressed to let him go completely, even though he left me before?
@kar0lkitsu First off, why did he leave you? That's the first question that needs to be addressed before going further with a response.
The reason is written in the post.
@kar0lkitsu But why didn't he love you, meaning, what stopped him from loving you. Should've been more clear. How long were you guys together for?
@kar0lkitsu
Perhaps you feel stressed because you had the possibility of reconciling. the possibility of things working out but when you say "NO thanks" that possibility or thoughts of what if it did work out go out the window.
I think people stay or reconcile .....often not about the problems being fixed or that as a couple they were so good together but because it is safe... familiar and the idea or picture they formed of what it would be years down the road they are not ready to let go, He may have ran back to you for similar reasons and the feels familiar thing.
@kar0lkitsu
It makes so much sense that you’d feel stressed about letting him go completely. Even though you know it’s the right choice. When someone leaves us, it doesn’t just hurt in the moment; it shakes our sense of safety and trust. So when they come back, even if it’s not in a way that truly honors you, part of your heart remembers the bond and wants to hold on to the familiarity. That pull is natural, but it doesn’t mean you’re making the wrong choice.
You’ve already shown a lot of strength by saying “no” to getting back together. Cutting contact may feel scary because it feels final, but it’s also the boundary that protects your healing. With time and space, that stress will ease, and you’ll feel more peace with the decision. You deserve someone who respects not just your love, but also your boundaries.
Letting go doesn't mean you stopped caring; it means you refuse to keep carrying what no longer respects your heart.
@kar0lkitsu
Hi. Sorry to hear about the breakup, it sounds like you were very hurt by it.
To me, because you have a good heart you feel by rejecting him, you’ll perhaps hurt him in some way. But…this isn’t about him, its about you and taking care of yourself before him. You've made your decision and don’t want to open up an old wound which I expect took some time to heal from. Continue to be strong and firm, this is about you and what you want 🌹❤️
you feel stressed to let him go despite not being with him, it could be that you truly loved him
