Losing feelings/constantly annoyed/ “ick”
Hey all,
So the big thing I’m struggling with right now is getting super annoyed or angry with my boyfriend about anything & everything he does. He is about the sweetest guy I have been with so I don’t understand where this “ick” feeling is coming from. I lash out at him all the time for no reason. I told him I feel like the man in the relationship just because I’m not as emotional as him—he takes everything to heart. I want him to show his emotions (every man should) but I feel like he’s hyper emotional and that is very annoying to me as a woman. It makes me feel like I can’t be in my “feminine energy” and I have to take over the more “masculine energy” role when this happens.
How do I get back into being more care free? We have been together for about 10 months— I’ve felt like this for probably 4 ish months.
I know I can’t control my anger the best, but maybe I also have some sort of control issue as well?
@courteousPenguin9408
when we are easily annoyed or losing the feelings we once had..
I can relate to. It sometimes is not one obvious thing but a combination of how things are going. I know my things if i had to explain to someone it may sound simple but it is the big picture all of it more then simple aggravating actions but attitude and acting like they are unaware of how this effects us.
Have you discussed the items you wrote about with your BF? What changed 4 months ago that it started to change? Was it small things you looked past but reached a point where it was just too much?
IMO people who are unhappy with their SO lash out at them over little things. This is usually deflecting. He’s being what you wish you could be or feel like you should be, so that bothers you.
I dated a guy like that once and it was the best and weirdest relationship I’ve been in. His emotional depth constantly blew my mind, and he was so freaking smart and creative, but he was never an alpha guy who was macho and would lead. And he was in the military, which is even more unusual. I always thought it was weird and maybe there was something wrong with him or me. Come to find out that every ex I’ve had, except him, has been that type and there’s a reason I’m drawn to it. Yup, you guessed it, trauma lol
I’ve also heard that once women get the ick, there is no going back lol But seriously, spend some time thinking about the future of your relationship. Ask yourself, if nothing about him ever changes, could you live with that forever? Because we, as women, need to learn that we need to fall in love with the person he is RIGHT now, not the person you think he can be, or wish he could be. You can’t change him and you can’t fix him, nor should you want to. Hope this helps a little. Reach out if you need any further help!