Lost
I've been married to the love of my life for 23 years. She cheated on me about 13 years ago. I forgave her and we worked passed it. 8 years go by and he mom gets diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I am supportive in every way she needs. We move her mom I. So my wife can take care of her. Her mom passed a couple of months later and she goes into depression. I try and get her to see a therapist but she refuses. That's when the trouble begins. She reconnected with an old boyfriend on social media. I don't think they ever met up but she would spend all day messaging him. She ceases to do any housework or anything. Just constantly on her phone. She then meets another guy in another city that she went to school with. She begins to send him pictures of her. I told her that was inappropriate and needed to stop. She got hostile with me and said everything was my fault. I thought we had worked through it again. She begins to see a therapist and is put on medication. The phone use has only increased and she now ignores me and the kids. She says the kids and her are better off without me in the picture. She is still the love of my life but she doesn't want anything to do with me. I am so lost and depressed right now
@tidySea8802
Sounds like you are dealing with the symptoms but not the core issue. losing a parent is hard and can bring up all sorts of feelings. If those are not dealt with the same pattern will repeat. I would suggest couples counseling. it sucks when one person feels the other is the love of their life, yet the other person may NOT feel the same.
This is not just about forgive and move past but a real understanding of what she is getting out of these conversations. What is at the core? it is more than being depressed. it can be wanting a different life.... thinking that will change how she feels inside. I do not think anyone can get past a situation until they really understand the root of the problem.
She probably not thinking clearly about what she is saying about you leaving. How does she plan on taking care of herself and kids? So many think it is just a person leaving but it is so much more to split all built over a long marriage for both parties.
I've tried to do couples counseling with her. She refuses. She says that is only for people who still want to try and make it work
