Lost and confused
Been with my partner for 3.5 years. It was toxic and still is today. It turned physical for a while and I still stayed and even stayed after being told I wasn’t what he wanted and explicitly told me what he was looking for. A week ago he tried to c**** But I was able to reach authorities and he went for a week to a facility and during that time his mom said I wasn’t allowed back at their house ( we moved and lived in our own place but his mom wanted him to go back home for his mental health without me). Bf said I just needed to be with him and it would make him better. He said he lost everything for me. During this I flew to be with my mom as I had no one else and he’s blaming me for leaving when I knew that was the right thing to do at the time for his mental health. Now he was saying we’re gonna get married and have a kid and be happy but he says he doesn’t trust me while I’m states away and is acting crazy asking me to view my screen time and I have no issues with that to show him I didn’t cheat on him or anything so today I asked him to show me his phone over a screen record and he got defensive and didn’t want too. Said if I trusted him and then got mad and said he doesn’t need this when he just told me he loved me so much and can’t live without me but does this? Like what. In my head I want to let him ago but I’m scared I won’t find anyone better. I have stopped texting him since 2 hrs ago. If we ended up staying together I feel like he would never trust me and there would be a chance he wouldn’t change. Idk I just need some outside perspective because I’m stuck with my rose colored glasses on.
@Priscella
I think the fact you reached out and things you say that you see beyond the rose colored glasses...says you really know what you should do and you need to end this.
You know it is not good... the trust issues will not go away on there own ....adding marriage or a child is just ways to cement this and make you leaving even harder if not impossible. You are NOT responsible for his mental health. No one is but so many with struggles try to tell a gf/ bf they cannot leave or they make them feel better but it is a desperate way to guilt you to stay.
You will find someone else and when people always say someone better ... I say someone different ...that fits with you better.... i stayed years with someone i should have left ... told myself I would not find another but i did and the love i have is stronger and happier then what i tried to hold on to.
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this meant for you to respond. Yeah if I went back to him I would be cutting off my family too and he didn’t care about that because it’s just “me and him” I need to keep telling myself that I will find someone who fits me and that it’s ok to let go. Thank you again
@Priscella
The one huge red flag is the "just me and you" scenarios and cutting you off of friends and family ...
Those lines are most often heard on True Crime stories when something goes really wrong... so no one knows until it is too late.
He’s mentioned before that he would hurt me.. like and do crazy stuff. I think he needs mental help. He says therapists don’t help or meds and stuff.. I think I know I should leave and focus on myself. There’s so much I’ve been thru in the past 3 years.
@Priscella
This is a clear issue with people who say things like medications and doctors / therapist do not help....
The reality is even in physical health situations or addiction etc .......IF the person expects others to FIX them without them putting in any work of course it does not work. There is NO magic bullet meds either.
Facing the issues accepting and making the hard work and real change is required ........ most simply do not ...do the work.
Instead they Make up the idea that they are special ......... these things are not working ... they do not need the help ....
No you are right.. thank you for making me more open. I’m hearing everything you’re saying ty
@toughTiger6481
I could not agree more. I hope Priscella really takes in what you said
