Low Self Without Him
Is it weird that the moment my ex cheated on me, I just lost my other half entirely? I mentally detach the moment I receive compliments or when things turns sexual like a friend did. I enjoyed compliments, but I feel sorry for them… somehow? And sexual jokes were my thing, but while making the kink list with with when I first made a *** server with them- I just lost my enjoyment entirely.
I had muted one of my clients that my friends introduced too, because of the way he talks about me being a “potential girlfriend”. The moment things just gets ***, I just think that “hey, my ex did that to that person too.”
I feel weird, I feel awfully depressed. But if I just turn to games and movies, I feel like I’m a kid, and it feels gross on me because I’m 23. But yet, it’s my comfort zone even?
I want to get back to my old self when I’m just silly and comfy, and feel some sort of stability… like after all this fun and laughter, I’d still be happy after. Without taking out on people or seeing some relatable *** in Bojack Horseman and say “Oh ***, they’re just like me.”
I couldn’t help but overthink, because my best friend keeps asking sexual things and trying to compliment me from time to time, like having a pretty face and a beautiful laugh. I’m assuming because they knew I had low self esteem and blaming my looks and my self for everything.
@greenCoconut6191
That sounds really depressing. :(
Being objectified for your body isn't a compliment. It's not even flattering. Some people really like it, but at the core of objectification is a person's projection of their self-worth.
A lot, a lot of people base their self-worth on how others perceive them.
Have you heard of dissociation?
Here's a link to a post I made covering the 5 aspects of dissociation and how to identify them in your day-to-day life:
The 5 Hidden Ingredients of Dissociation - Discussion | 7 Cups
I really like what you said about wanting to be silly and comfy. It sounds like your inner child needs some attention, but for some reason you are disgusted by it.
Why does your younger self disgust you?
🐠
Dear greenCoconut6191,
My name is poetfriend and I am here for you.
It’s difficult when someone who is close betrays you, however, it seems that you do have a goal to help yourself. What are some of the ways you may explore to achieve these goals?