My 10 year marriage

I meet my now husband back when I was in high school. We lived in separate states. We met on a 3 wat call . We were friends for about 2 years . He was a player and i was fell for his charms and words. We finally met in person after high school in GR. He was amazing but one day I saw a txt from his x . It said " we are like the seasons, we always come back" I did ask him about it .he brushed it off with a she was a good friend before we dated and after we dated we just stayed friends. I should have known better. Some times goes on i tell him that I guy from high school just confessed to me that he had crush on me. He didn't seem to care and i didn't care much about it just wanted to tell him. Times moves on and yet here comes more x girls that he entertaines. He saw nothing wrong with it but stopped talking to them. They come back a few more times( with in 2 years). By this time I have 2 kids with him. I was tired of him not putting a stop to it. So decided to to it too ( I was 20-21) still young and imature. ( we did a lot of petty things to each other) It was like that for about 4 years we did go to therapy. We found that we didn't know each other at all nor knew how to love each other. He tired to do everything right but by that time I have already seen him send and receive pictures. I no longer wanted him. But I was just there with him. He found out that I was entertaining other ppl and acted like I was to blame for everything. Me moved on from that and we moved to a different state. I was pregnant with my son during the pandemic. He was still entertaining other women again. He denied and then admitted to it. After my son I was pregnant with my 4th and last child with him. During this time he hasn't changed. He kicked me in the face while we were in a argument. I was still pregnant. He would have never apologized to me if I haven't had brought it up. At this point we have been married for 8 years.(@ 10 years) We separated for about 2 months , we still had "feelings" for one another. Decided to try again we are going to therapy. But we are both in this weird place where we are both indifferent but want to try and save our marriage. It's hard really.