My Anxiety is Killing My Relationship
Right now Im having a really hard time. My boyfriend asked for a few days of quiet after a massive argument which was largely driven by my overthinking. He messaged me last night after like 2 hours of calming down. He said everything is okay. We’re still good. But he needs a few days to clear his head. To me that means it’s completely over. Even though he distinctly said it isnt and he’s not going to end things. He just wants me to be able to relax. Chill out. Just hangout and let things come naturally. But I don’t know how. and now I feel like I have driven him away for good.
I can relate to this a lot. For a long time I thought if my now husband and I had too big of a fight he would leave. I'd struggle to give him space to cool off, which would only escalate things further and then I would stew while he took off for who knows how long to get space. If your boyfriend told you that you guys are okay and he isnt leaving, then try to remind yourself of that every time you notice yourself having anxious thoughts about him leaving. I have found that "logicing" my way out of anxiety works sometimes. I'd recommend trying to keep busy until he is ready to come back together too. Hang out with friends, get some exercise, go shopping, whatever you can to get out of your head. If you're not in therapy for your anxiety, thats probably something worth looking into as well. Its not easy to overcome or learn to manage, but it is possible! I'm sorry you're going through this, hang in there!
Thank you. I was in therapy and on medication. Because on top of it all ai have PTSD from my abusive marriage. Losing this man is probably my biggest fear. And that is so not fair to him. Its now day #2 of his space and I have an apology text crafted. But Im trying so hard to wait to send it.