My mother and sister are telling that I'm 50% blame for my wife cheating on me
And they said that I should have learnt to forgive her and now the entire house is broken into two because of me not moving on
@Loserhubby
I do not see assigning blame or how much on anyone.
I do believe in many cases of a partner crossing a line to cheat the relationship they were in was in trouble. If a relationship has issues and something happens i do think people should examine were things went wrong ... so often people said it was great until partner cheated but more often then not IF the believe that ...they won't see it was not good for partner. My spouse cheated many years ago to be frank can not remember what year etc. when it all came out I had to look at what was happening and I was in such a bad place and took out all my unhappy on them that does not give them a pass ... they decided to cross a line ... and now I can imagine why better.
We do not get over it ... it hurts regardless of whatever reason it occurred .... If we want to move forward we need to see the big picture. forgiveness is not just "I forgive you" and all is better ... it is the first step to rebuild or revise your life. The work to get over it and improve the relationship and such is hard work.
What is the plan staying together?
She lied to her parents that I've been mentally ill and suspicious and they have taken her and my children..
My parents are in victim blaming mode
@Loserhubby
Marriage means family, even if we would like them to not be involved.
i have lived this thru a family member their marriage ended and it does not just end for them.... i lost a friend in their ex spouse ... I lost friends in their extended family too. I miss them. I was not in the relationship but was confused about how what I saw as good went bad so fast.
Your spouse turning her family against you and taking kids etc. This also creates a bigger hurdle to overcome IF you were to try to fix things how does she say "oh i made that up or exaggerated about husband" the damage is done. They will never see you the same.
Perhaps your mom is afraid her relationship with your wife and the grand kids will end completely or be awkward. A breakup or divorce etc involves more then the couple.
@Loserhubby,
whatever the reason(s), cheating is a choice and there's only one person responsible for cheating, namely the cheater.
If someone is cheating upon, is might be able to sort things out, if there's love, openness, honesty, on both sides. Yet it would take a lot time, hard work and commitment. And if not both of you understand what happened, understand it was a one off, and trust is damaged beyond repair, well, the end.
It says nowhere one should forgive someone. Its about acceptance. And no one should tell you to forgive, let alone blame you. It's none of their business.