Need advice :(

@Azuremyst

From what you posted it sounds careless to me to not indulgein your lovinggift..

There may be problems in your relationship on the horizon or it could just mean she is not very romantic and sentimental..

Relationship counciling could benefit you. By finding out if your feelings are correct and not fear or paranoia or whatever you are feeling could shine light on the relationship.🌟

@Azuremyst

I think sometimes we put too much thought into something like this.

Could it be possible it was an accident with the cat.

Maybe she was not aware of how important the gift was to you.   I gave gifts and in my mind my partner did not appreciate or care for them like I would have preferred.  I realized I wanted them to ooh and aah over what I thought was the perfect gift.  

I will answer you one time now, giving you things to reflect on, since I usually only log on to 7Cups every second year nowadays:

To not care for the flowers and keep them every where seems careless. I would also feel that my gift was not appreciated. 

How is her bond with her parents generally? What are their attachment styles, all three people? How did she grow up? This will affect how you feel in your relationship with her, and how she feel with you. 

Compare that to your own attachment style to your own parents. 

You will usually pick a partner that makes you feel something that you are famililair to feel. That might not be optimal, but it is possible to work together on over many years. As in all relationships. 

Do you have any project together that you currently work on, or things that keep you both together? 

A direct question to her would be:

Why is she together with you. 

And a direct question is why you are together with her. 

But then you both need to be ready for such a converstion, having talked about good stuff that makes you bithfeel good first. Also both of you need to be in agood state/condition; have slept good, have eaten recently, have had a long walk or excercise, have nothing that stresses either of you that day and preferably for that whole week. Start with some positive and light topic nd also end with a light topic. And don't pressure the converstion or her in any way. 

If it doesn't feel good, then it isn't. Both need to be open for better communication. Verbally is preferable. You can never learn to communicate too good ever with anybody in life. 

It can take much time to understand one another. Like several years. Her behaviour towards you doesn't mean that she think or feel this and that about you or your relationship. It might be as simple as both of you might need to use a different communication style to get your feelings and points through to each other. But you wrote here, so that's a good sign that you want to learn how to get through to her. Are you also open to try to understand her? 

Is she feeling held back by some emotions? Might that be the reason for her lack of openness or lack of communication? Because what I get from your text is that she is closed off a bit. It might be due to attachment style as well, but what is she feeling? Does she feel seen heared by recently? 

It is possible to work on the relatioship, very slow and steady, if both are usually open for that.

Both of you needs to be working on yourselves as well. It's like a constant "doing the dishes" or a constant "going to the gym". One can never be complete or compleated. And relationships takes time! But you need to know what it's worth, where you WILL BE in 5-10 years if you both continue like this - or if only you make a change and not her. Will it suck more from you than give to you? 

Long-term emotions and pushed down emotions bring physical illness. If something doesn't feel good it simply is not good and something needs to be changed. 

You both need to know what you both want from the relationship and why you both chose each other. There are also factors that keeps a couple together, like life goals, attachment styles, and other. But working on emotions and communication every day is very important.

A story about my relationship with my boyfriend:

Me and my boyfriend have had a nice first 6 months during spring back in 2023. Then too much stress from bug city life, different communication styles, workload and a long distance to his safety; family. We got a better winter in 2023/2024. But exactly back then I got pregnant but didn't want to keep it, while he wanted to keep the embryo. (And I had been clear from the beginning that I had never wanted kids, saying that at 35 years old when we first met in 2022 and repeating that a few times in 2023 when we got together. But now in 2026 we have finally talked peacefully about it, where he said that he somehow thought naively that I would change my mind about it later on.) So in all of 2024 we had a rough time with much resentment. He felt that he needed to move up to his dad in the northern part of the country (Sweden). I came after him one moth later. We still kept together, but with much issues though. And much of 2025 we had ups and downs too, but kept together. And finally now in late april things started to change for the stable better again. We both are burned out, we both have our own isseus to work on and it's a constant work on one self and also together on the relationship. We mirror each other in many ways which is annoying but also soul-growing if we continue to work through issues.

And I still don't know where my life will go or where our relationship will go. I've had too many sudden break ups with most people that I've known, and that builds on my anxiety. I now believe that one of my souls life purposes is to learn to accept anxiety for it to go away when friendships and other types of relationships break.

To go where things flow is a good way to approach your souls purpose too people say. Least resistance. 

But from what I can understand the soul won't grow from only good times. It needs to be polished like a dimond through isseus and rough times. But too much rough will not be good for one's long-term health either. You might want to keep a short diary where you write each day how you feel, think etc. over many months (using ratings from 1-10 on parameters like; emotinal state, thankfullness, awareness, family, friends, relationship, happiness, calmness & inner peace, time for yourself, healthy eating, water intake, physical excercise, outdoor time spending, general health, creativity, economy, work & education, thoughts & feelings, the past, the future).

It's just my thoughts. Communication & different types of relationships are difficult for everyone at some point and all through out life. 

Love from a fellow striver ❤️ 

@Azuremyst Hugs you. I don't have any idea of your situation. I hope you'll realize it soon.

It's not nice to feel taken for granted and you should never feel obligated to talk, if you don't feel like it. It's not ignoring, it's just taking the time to process what to say next or to deal with your emotions.

When you next feel calmer, you can approach it like this...

I really like when we spend quality time together..... I enjoy this quality about you... However I feel like we need to work on some things too.

If I'm upset, I would really appreciate you asking me follow up questions to better understand me and to show you care and are concerned about how I'm feeling and I will do the same for you. That would really bond us and bring us closer together :)

I appreciate your apology about my gift but I spend time creating it for you to show you, how much you mean to me, next time can you please be more mindful and take it home and enjoy it, so you can see it and think of how special our relationship is....

Something along those lines, might help. I hope you feel better soon :)