Need help understanding
I’ve been trying to understand my relationship better, so I wanted to share some patterns I’ve noticed.
My partner often stares at me when I’m on my phone and asks who I’m talking to or what I’m doing. If I don’t respond the “right” way, he gets upset, sulks, or pushes me to explain myself. At work, he sometimes lingers around me just to see who I’m near, even if I ignore him.
He frequently asks me if I love him, sometimes over and over, or needs reassurance over things like bad dreams where he imagines I’ve cheated. If I don’t reassure him exactly how he wants, he spirals or gets moody.
He’ll touch me in ways that make me uncomfortable, like rubbing my leg or jokingly touching my privates, and if I react negatively, he sulks or acts like I’m overreacting.
Recently, when I ignored him staring at me and kept typing on my phone, he ripped my headphones off my head and hid them behind his back, demanding to know who I was talking to(I was literally just typing in my notes). Another time, he asked me repeatedly to get him a fork, and when I kept saying no, he crawled onto the bed over me, grabbed my stomach hard, and through his teeth said he “felt too uncomfortable to go upstairs.”
When I try to bring up issues, he downplays them or flips it around, making me feel like I’m the one who’s overreacting. He’ll say things like, “I just want things to be like they used to be,” instead of actually addressing what I bring up.
On top of all that, he spends most of his time playing games on his computer. Even when our daughter needs attention, he often hides out in the bathroom, naps, or just leaves me to handle everything alone.
I’m not sure what to call this or how others would view it, but I wanted to see what people think when they hear these behaviors described.
@venusflytrap4
Hi. To me, reading what you’ve put, he doesn’t sound like a good supportive partner. Leaving you to do all the work whilst he plays computer games?
@venusflytrap4
He is having issues with not being your main focus. The obsession on who are you talking to or hanging around sound either jealous or insecure.
The acting like a jerk and then making it seem like a joke is also masking being insecure... not sharing responsibilities for your child shows he does not feel he has to. .
this is a time you might want to set boundaries and tell him his behavior is not acceptable. I think at first we try to appease but that will grow into resentment and anger.
@venusflytrap4,
sounds like he's a pretty insecure boy. Time to put down some boundaries and for him to grow up.
Ok, honey I’m going to be honest here. Your man is extremely inside cute and he has narcissistic traits. Some stuff thst toi described he does is control and semi- abusive. Your man has to want to work on himself first
T because he has rains thay not dealt with and I fee Ike he taking out on you and he finding other ways to distract himself from himself if I make sense.
Ok, honey I’m going to be honest here. Your man is extremely inside cute and he has narcissistic traits. Some stuff thst toi described he does is control and semi- abusive. Your man has to want to work on himself first
T because he has rains thay not dealt with and I fee Ike he taking out on you and he finding other ways to distract himself from himself if I make sense.
