Overwhelmed
I just want to scream at the top of my lungs so bad. I don’t know what to do anymore. Things are piling up on top of a pile that’s never been dealt with .
I’m in an emotionally, mentally and physically challenging marriage. With what seems to be no evident change coming. I have two babies with a very rare metabolic genetic disorder, that requires nursing care daily. I’m struggling with depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Bipolar and BPD. All of which I take medication for.
I advocate for my children to the best of my abilities. Order supplies. Order their medications needed weekly. Stay on top of their medical equipment. Take them to their appointments. Dress them. Handle school needs and all paperwork needed. I’m emailing w their doctors daily. All while trying to make sure they are dressed well and cared for. I’m stuck with trying to be their mother and attempt to take on the role as a father too.
I’m trying to maintain a job full time. Which I need to have in order to keep the insurance that cares for them best. Bills are piling up. I’m trying to maintain finances w their father’s income to help. Barely.
My hair has fallen out. Teeth shifting/from grinding and biting my tongue to the point it bleeds. Lost weight. High blood pressure. Etc etc. can’t talk to my current husband about any of the things that bother me. Instead I’m met with blame. Negligence. Sometimes physical abuse and aggression. I’m just so tired. I’m so angry. I’m so hurt.
I just want to scream so loud. Can’t even cry around him. So I suffer in silence. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m stuck. Broken. Alone. Nothing seems like it will get better.
@blueHouse663
I'm so sorry, House. That sounds extremely stressful.
Have you tried joining any support groups for caregivers, or for parents with children who have extensive medical needs? Something like that would probably help with feeling supported, since you can't find support at home. Online groups are good if you aren't able to get out to one locally.
When I was taking care of my dad, it helped for me to talk to people who understood the stress of it and could offer practical tips for dealing with the situation. I also find help for my chronic illness on a specialized forum.
This place is great for general mental health issues, but may not always be the best for specific situations like this, where you really need to talk to people who understand what you are going through each day.
I'm sorry you are struggling so much with all of this. It's really hard to deal with life when you feel like everything is coming at you at once. Sending hugs your way 💜 Much love to you.
I just wanted to tell you I am really sorry you are going through this. This is really hard.
I am so impressed by how strong you are. You have been doing everything and by yourself. First, i hope you can aknowledge how strong you must be deal with all those topics. You can be proud.
I hope also you can find external help ( do you have family, friends around you could ask for help to breathe for a moment?).
We care about you. Your kids care about you and love you. You are not alone in this struggle. It will get better, hold on. You kids will grow up. Maybe the financial situation will evolve with a good turn of events. Situations can always change ✨️✨️
Today, you are doing the best you can and that's enough. You are valuable.
Lots of love,