Restraining Order: is it worth it?
My ex and I broke up 7 months ago because he was admitted to a mental hospital and went virtually no contact. We lived in similar housing at college and sometimes saw each other but it wasn’t really a big deal, or so I thought. We ended up at the same hangout in a friend group and he kept acting strange then eventually disappeared. I thought it was weird but it was none of my business. That night my RA woke me up in the middle of the night saying his phone was dying and no one could find him. The only hint he gave was about a place we used to go together. He was in a really dark place. He ended up trying to kiss me no matter how many times I said no until I used the safe word we used to have. There was a person who was supposed to be watching from a distance but they couldn’t see where we were at the time. I got him to move to a more visible place and he said living without me hurt so bad that he wished I didn’t exist. I don’t think it was a threat but I think about it a lot. In the days that followed he said nasty things to and about me many times but nothing that bad. In one of those breakdowns we ended up calling the administrators of our housing and they called his parents. He went home and then dropped out. He came back and apologized but we stayed 3 or more feet apart at my insistence and had a chaperone. He said he’s better but his condition has episodes and is treatment resistant. He calls me his obsession and says it’s linked to OCD which only scares me more.
one night I had such bad anxiety that he was going to come or manipulate someone to come find me that I hid in my closet all night (small spaces are comforting to me). I can’t hear his name without panicking and double take whenever I see people who have the same build. I had to move out of my housing to feel safe and I have a new boyfriend now but he still comes into town to see friends and since we’re non contact I never know when and honestly I don’t want the anxiety of knowing. I want to feel safe again but I don’t know if it’s bad enough to even think about a restraining order. The campus police offered to talk to me tomorrow but I don’t know if I’m wasting their time or gaslighting myself. No one in our friend group knows what happened and they all still look up to him. The administrators put us on a hush order for his privacy since it was a mental health problem so I have virtually no input. I feel dramatic but I want to forget this ever happened. Should I go talk to them tomorrow or just try to move on like he did? Am I crazy to feel unsafe even though he doesn’t go to school with me anymore?
@PorcupineRay
i see you wrote this about a week ago... hope you have found some peace and it is understandable to be very upset that he is out there and what if he showed up etc.
hopefully your school is aware as for your title ...... restraining orders are only as good as the person they are protecting you from..
if they respect it and abide great if they are not in a logical frame of mind it is a piece of paper and they often in a episode do not weigh the pros and cons of their actions.
@PorcupineRay,
he doesn't seem to harass you or threaten you. So how would a restraining order help, other then damaging him?
You had a traumatic experience, maybe find a therapist might really help you.