Should I contact my toxic baby father?
Hi everyone I needed some advice if any you want to reply I would really appreciate it. I was in a relationship with a verbally abusive guy, he called me the worst names and threatened me. I went no contact with him when I was five months pregnant because I didn’t want to be treated like that anymore. I kept in contact with his mother because I didn’t think it was fair to keep his family out of the picture. He told me he doesn’t think she is his anymore about a month before I gave birth and that he didn’t want me taking to his mom anymore. I decided that I was still going to keep in contact with her. I told his mom I had her and she seemed happy. I also asked her to tell him that she was here. He said that it wasn’t fair he missed the birth IF he is the father. So what I took from that is he was still questioning if he was the father l. I asked his mom if he wanted a paternity test but she never responded. It’s been a month my baby girl is a month old now. Should I break no contact and ask him if he wants to be in her life or should i just wait until he decides what he wants to do? I would appreciate any feedback ,thank you.
@adventurousOcean7067
you have made the effort and he is not interested ... was nice of you to include his family even if he is not wanting to know about child.
i do not know how you can make him care or be involved. sooner or later it will become clear to him that he has a daughter.
why is he so upset worried about being held responsible for child support?
Most states will require the paternity test anyway. doubt a test will fill him with caring feelings or even make him a subpar dad. He is toxic unless you want him back ... it is easy to move on and if you find decent man to be stepfather the sooner the better.
@adventurousOcean7067
You're asking a great question about continuing no contact or breaking it.
I would ask some questions back to help consider your decision.
If you break the no contact, would that be safe for you and your daughter?
If you break the no contact, how will that impact your relationship with your ex?
Will he stick to the boundaries that you set for a healthy relationship with you and your daughter?
What would be the positives that would be there if you broke your no contact?
What would be the negatives that would be there if you broke your no contact?
What are the positives now with having no contact with him?
What are the negatives now with having no contact with him?
I think you are being wise to ask the question of what to do. It's a decision that is a big one, and I'm sure that it's a difficult one to make for you. I hope you find the best solution for you and your daughter.
