Sometimes feel too broken for a relationship
I have a bit of a rough history with self image, and have grown up in porn and it has created a version in my mind of what being in a relationship means and how I view myself and how I perceive my partner sees me.
As a result there are times where I fully believe if I’m good enough, reliable enough, or offer a safe space instead of a negative, even toxic, space. I feel that every thing I do is too much, not enough, or totally unwanted or unnecessary. Each decision is incorrect and I end up with anxiety from feeling like I’ve gotta make the perfect decision, and lose sight of why I am making that decision in the first place.
This only happens when it involves the person I love. I’m scared she will come to see me the way I see myself, or that something I do will steer her away.
@honestThinker7095
Ultimately you are good enough.
And you'll be enough for your partner, once you are honest, open, communicate, are warm, compassionate and respectful.
Loyal and kind.
What por.n does is creates unrealistic expectations of what is expected sexuality.
Sometimes people push the boundaries and see their partner as a performer and not an equal.
Desiring what they see in the videos.
Intimacy is about boundaries.
It's about shared exploration and fun and accepting when their is something the other person doesn't want to do 💚
@honestThinker7095
Many people watch things like you describe ... that is NOT real, not even close.
Just like any made up movie. I have seen some and from my perspective it is nothing to do with a relationship at all.. A Relationship is about much more and not unrealistic situations. guess what we all make wrong decisions sometimes we did not do enough or too much and overthink about what we should do. That is Normal.
Talking and sharing our insecurities and thoughts fix most of the issues you speak of. If you do not want here to see you as you see you change how you view yourself time to learn to love yourself for who you are.
Man, That sounds like a total nightmare. But know this if this found a reason to stay with you then they aren't gonna leave you for small mistakes that you made out of love and care if they do That means they weren't meant for you in the first place
Even though I have not succeeded in achieving a progressed relationship such as you described I am able to relate to some extent. I too have a lot of problems with self image I've lived my life believing that I'm no Partner material mostly because of my face ruined by puberty and a terrible porn mind. But guess what At this last year of highschool i started improving myself without any expectations be it my face, my posture and my mind. And I was lucky enough to find out that my Crush liked me back No hard hints that would help go and talk to her but Smiles and her looking at me during class and friends too realising it slowly from her actions.
I found myself constantly trying to look better in front of her resulting in making dumb decisions just like you, it kept me anxious all the time. And before anything had time to progress the year is ending resulting in us being seperated probably forever
My message for you: Those without Porn in their mind don't have such High expectations from you, They need you just how you are. True love isn't constantly trying to impress it's in improving yourself without expectations. I say this because a Relationship needs 2 complete people to function not two half people trying to fill in the void with eachother that's why you must always keep upgrading yourself.
Sorry for making it too long
Hope you understand
