Spiralling
I’m having a really big meltdown tonight. The guy I’m seeing was supposed to come and see me tonight, it’s a 2 hour drive to me and half way to mine, he had to turn back bc of the weather. I know that’s not his fault but I was so upset.
we spoke on the phone for a couple hours. I then asked if we could do something Sunday and he said no bc it’s a bit rushed. He’s definitely interested, he makes that very clear in person. But I am currently struggling with him not really organising to do anything, it always seems to be me. And then my fight or flight starts acting up and I panic and organise something. I know it’s because I want an element of control in a situation where there is no control to be had.
I just really like him and I miss him. And tonight I’m really struggling with the whole dating and taking things slow. I know he feels the same too he just doesn’t voice it.
@lovingBirch549
dating can be difficult with out adding a big commute time between you.
I know it is hard as a two hour each way and then doing anything together does require planning to get done and maybe not possible as much as you both would like. if you really like each other and can stay focused then as relationship progresses you might be able to find a way to bridge the distance gap.
I read that and thought that I post that? but really I'm a man and my partner is obviously a woman but I feel exactly the same way so much of the time more so in the beginning though as she has made progress but I struggle with it I tell myself "she's not me, she does things differently, I don't understand, that's because I'm not her,I can only understand me, things like that.
I have to apologize ironically my current or ex however we want to look at it and I were talking and a different problem is going on and I got sidetracked on that anyway. the affirmations that were mentioning I end them with "I don't understand her that does not mean she's not love me." The only question is can I accept this or can I not. our cases are extreme examples of the truth of us all our relationships about people we never can truly understand another person that's my opinion it's I know means finally sound necessarily or anything how I look at it and it's still very difficult
It’s understandable how you feel. Not knowing all of your details etc, but try Googling attachment styles. I suspect what you’re experiencing is what is called anxious attachment. If you think this is what you have, you can get a better handle of how to deal with the emotions of situations like that. It’s not a bad thing, we just all have different ways to deal with things and when you have a good understanding of what you’re dealing with it makes it easier to find ways to address them.
