Still carrying a 5-year-old connection (one sided love) that felt like my first real “seen” moment how do I finally put it down?

I’m 24, currently working as a junior lawyer in a tier 1 city in India. I’m sharing this because a part of me still feels stuck, and I could really use some perspective and practical advice.

In 2021, during the lockdown, I was 18–19, stuck in my hometown, dealing with depression, PTSD from school bullying, and a lot of academic pressure. I felt invisible and broken. Then I started talking to a girl from college (let’s call her S). She was from a very different background privileged, South Delhi, confident, and socially secure in a way I wasn’t.

What started as casual college chat slowly became late-night conversations, voice notes, and emotional check-ins. For the first time, someone listened to me talk about my trauma and still stayed. She said things that made me feel valued. I became deeply attached. Looking back, I was clingy, overshared a lot, and put way too much emotional weight on her. She was kind at first, but gradually pulled away, blocked me at one point, and some private chats got leaked in friend groups. It left me feeling used, humiliated, and like I was “too much.”

The class difference was always there. I was the middle-class small-town guy; she was from a completely different world. I think that made me both safer to talk to and easier to discard when things got heavy.

Since then, a lot has changed. I moved cities, finished law school, started working in litigation. I’ve grown a lot in confidence and independence. Rationally, I know the connection was uneven and that she was young and emotionally limited too and that one sided feelings never succeed. I’ve accepted that she was never going to stay.

But a small part of me still remembers how it felt to be truly listened to for the first time. Sometimes I still wish for just one message or one voice note. I still get dreams about her. When I think about how far I’ve come, a quiet voice still asks, “Would she respect me now?” or “Does she ever feel even a little regret?”

I’m not looking to contact her. I unfollowed and removed her years ago. What I’m struggling with is the residual attachment — the longing for that feeling of being seen, and the way it still sometimes affects my self-worth and focus.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? A connection that happened when you were extremely vulnerable, that you later outgrew, but still carries emotional weight years later?

I’d really appreciate:

How you finally let go of that kind of attachment

Ways to stop measuring your growth against someone who was never going to stay

How to be kinder to the younger version of yourself who clung so hard

Anything that helped you feel “enough” without needing external validation from the past