Suicidal friend
Hello there, I wanna ask for help. I've been chatting with some boy on *** and he's very suicidal and always talking about how he doesn't want to be here anymore and im really worried because I care for him and I know how painful it is to have so deep depression and being suicidal, because I also have depression and sometimes im suicidal.
I don't know what to do, because he refuses go to the psychologist because he has bad experience with it... I gave him some contacts where he can call or text and found for him some place where he can stay a few days and talk to psychologist for free... but he doesn't want to because he really wants to die... and I feel so worried and I don't know what to do...
And also because of his suicidal thoughts an actions, I feel like im not sick enough because im not THAT suicidal in the moment... so it also hurts me because my mental health is also bad so I can't really be support for anybody and definitely not for him... :)
So is there anything I can do for him to help?
I get that your friend wants to die, and that puts you in the devastating position of wanting to help, but all your help being refused or discarded at this point, because that is what he really wants.
For you, I imagine that this feels extremely devastating and you feel helpless, since any help you have given so far has been rejected. Reaching out here was an extremely courageous and brave thing to do.
There’s a phrase for what you are feeling. Compassion fatigue. You are so exhausted, and you yourself need care, since you yourself have these feelings of not wanting to be here.
You are being a good friend to continue to talk with your friend. I’m also concerned about you and your well being.
There are resources “out there,” as you are aware, since you have tried to direct your friend to those resources.
I have a resource for you, but I will ask you first if you want it, because I know from experience that when people throw suggestions at me, it’s not what I necessarily need for my soul.
I might need reassurance, a break for my own self, a breath of fresh air from the guilt I would feel “if something were to happen,” especially to my dear friend.
Please let me know if you would like me to share this resource with you. It’s a website that has conversation starters to begin a difficult conversation, and ideas on recognizing and protecting your own self when you are dealing with a friend who is suicidal.
I’m not supposed to really talk about this, but there are certain things a counselor on a crisis line is looking for that make it apparent that a suicide is imminent. The counselors can tick these off better than I can on this website, which is meant for emotional support. As always with everything human, some are better than others at understanding and caring, but I like to think that all the counselors who are on the crisis lines are there because they truly and genuinely want to help people.
We can talk further if you want. You can hit my chat if you would like to talk more personally, or to brainstorm next steps for you in dealing with this very difficult issue.
Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud
