Taking a Break
My boyfriend and I are taking a break but I'm doing a lot of self-healing going to therapy and putting in a lot of the work. He has admit he hasn't started doing anything on his end yet for us, because he's busy with x, y & z...
I give him the benefit of the doubt. We've been doing good for 2 weeks since the initial break and me moving out.
It really just hurts my heart how he can be so invested but a moment that it's not convenient for him, or maybe it's too much for him to bear that he snaps and is so fast and willing to let go.
Telling me maybe that's the thing I finally needed to get over you.
This is his perception, we have all the tools to make it better and I've been putting in so much work for myself, but a goal of mine is to get back together but it's not what I'm striving for. But if it can come with my becoming a happier and healthier person it would be amazing.
But he's not making any progress, and this first argument since our break. He's so quick to say mean things. I'm healthier than I was and I don't take them all the way to heart but it still really hurts my feelings.
I know won't no one can force anyone to do something. I'm not a fool and I'm not going to try, but I want to support him and I want him to grow and learn that he doesn't have to just shut it off and say mean things. He can invest just a little bit of effort and try to understand instead of react.
I just got reservations for us this evening to a comedy show and dinner he and I were discussing. He didn't say anything about not going anymore but how do I make a healthy reconnection?
I need some support right now on all of this.
@goldenBranch8894
I am sorry you too are going thru something like this.
Many of us out here with a partner who claims they will change grow even do therapy but instead make excuses and when we talk to them it is a reminder they have not followed thru and done anything. the reality is maybe you can have some time together but do not undo the work on you waiting ... hoping and trying to encourage him to step up.
It is hurtful and sad they do not see when they would bend over backwards for other things but this they pretend hoping we forget or just give up expecting them to improve. Lashing out saying the meanest thing they can is common try to shut the discussion down as i assume once we are " fixed" relationship will work with zero effort on their part.... save time set a deadline and when the excuses of they do not know how or have not had time etc You will know it is BS and not look back. I stayed with mine .. it was NOT worth it ...he did NOT improve and only got worse.
