The end.

I've been posting on here a lot recently and it makes me feel better abt things. I stood up to my ex. He had been treating me poorly and I got so tired of it. I was at my low last night and he didn't care. Even as My friend he didn't care. I talked to an old friend about it and they gave me the courage to finally stand up to him. He moved on in a week. I told him that even though I hurt him he hurt me too and I was tired of being the one whose always saying sorry. He then blamed me and his friends for the way he feels. And how this new girl makes him feel human. He treated me like a game. I have been watching a lot more TV to try and get me to pay attention to literally anything else. And one of the characters said something that stood out to me. He said "you have to mess up the first time to get it right the second time". It helped me realize that even if this is the end of my chapter with him it's not the end of my story. He and I argued for a little while and he finally blocked me. I texted him one last time on messages and told him I hope he realizes what he's doing by using people to feel something is wrong and that I hope he becomes happy. And that I despise him. And I do. I miss the guy I fell in love with though. I despise whatever person I've been talking to because that's not the guy I love anymore. Things have been so hard for me the past few weeks. But I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel good. For the first time in weeks I feel good about myself. That guy has been making me feel guilty for even existing and now I don't have to carry that around with me. I want to cry. I'm sad that it's over. But I'm so glad it's done. I threw out all of the gifts he gave me except a select few because they're things I'll actually use and that I can reclaim as my own. I feel free. Anyone reading this doesn't know the full story of my ex and I and couldn't fully grasp how much I've been hurting from this whole thing. But I'm so happy to be out of the situation and free of the burdens I carry with me. I want to keep sticking with 7 cups so when the time is right and the next person for me comes along I'll be healed and ready to start again. This turned out to be a pretty good day.