Thought I had moved on from her but maybe I was wrong
I thought I had moved on from her. For a while, it even felt like I had. But lately, she keeps resurfacing in my mind, and it's been driving me crazy. I'm frustrated, really frustrated. I've been working out consistently for the past eight days, hoping the physical effort would help me shake her off, or at least distract me. But it hasn't worked. She's still there, and the longing hasn’t faded.
I want to be with her so badly, but I know deep down that it's not possible. Moving on is the only option I have, but how do you move on from someone you've been in love with for eight years? Someone you've built an entire imaginary life and happiness, all in your head?
I don’t know what changed. Just a few days ago, I was feeling a bit better. I thought I made peace with the fact the we'd never be together and she's happy with someone else. I thought I was finally moving on from her.
Some context as well:
I’ve had a crush on a girl from school for over eight years. Nearly every day, I’d hug my pillow and pretend it was her, building these comforting fantasies where we were a couple, deeply in love, building a life together.
I had opportunities to talk to her, maybe even confess. And honestly, there were signs she might’ve felt something too. But I held back. I convinced myself to focus on self improvement, academics, career, becoming “worthy”, before taking any step toward her.
Then, recently, I saw her *** posts. She’s with someone now. Seeing those pictures with her boyfriend crushed me. It was like watching the version of our life I built disappear into someone else's reality.
Looking back now, I can admit that imagining an entire relationship and life with her was rooted in my immaturity and naivety, and, honestly, there’s a part of it that feels a bit unsettling in hindsight.
I’m still trying to process everything and focus on moving forward. But if there’s any silver lining in all of this, it’s that it’s forced me to self reflect.
Above all, it’s made me realize just how immature (and creepy) I’ve been for years.
I just hope I can truly move on from her, and more importantly, from that version of myself. I never want to fall back into that kind of mindset again.
Looking back now, I can admit that imagining an entire relationship and life with her was rooted in my immaturity and naivety, and, honestly, there’s a part of it that feels a bit unsettling in hindsight.
I’m still trying to process everything and focus on moving forward. But if there’s any silver lining in all of this, it’s that it’s forced me to self reflect.
Above all, it’s made me realize just how immature (and creepy) I’ve been for years.
I just hope I can truly move on from her, and more importantly, from that version of myself. I never want to fall back into that kind of mindset again.
@brightDay6709
Do not be so hard on yourself ... in most crushes people picture being together. You had a sort of daydream of a person ..
The reality is a relationship takes two and things do not always go as we think they will... imagine all the items you like she may not or what if she liked things you do not like. When we see that a real relationship would be give and take and you do not really know her just what you have observed she will be farther and farther away.
When it gets to the point you can say "hey i really do not know her" you can move on and tell yourself before a relationship can happen you have to talk and interact with her......and you may find out things you do not like about her.