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Anyone else married but still feel soo alone?
Like u have to beg for the bare minimum?
Tonight I tried to be a better wife
My husband got home, I warmed up food, made tea, he sat down we ate, he didn't finish even though he hasn't eaten all day. He told me abt some work stress, We went for a drive, got some snacks. We had a discussion both agreed we don't have energy to fight, because that's how it normally ends.. We got home, we were in a good space.
Once the kids were asleep, he was watching sport. I asked him to lay down with me, I just wanted to be in his arms, rather I needed that. He asks me to make tea then he will come to bed. I make tea, he stalls, eventually comes to bed, with his phone, watching sport.. We lay down but I'm so annoyed and just turn the other way.
All I wanted was for him to just want to spend some time with me without any devices.. He gets up, says he's going to the toilet after a while I get up to see wer he is.. I find him laying in front of the TV.
I stand there staring at him for a few minutes, I ask him to lay down, he says he will come if I massage his head. I refuse because he didn't evn keep his first end of the bargain. I am so ***. He is unmoved, unphased and couldn't give a crap. Yet tomorrow he will be tired, and I wouldn't care, not evn planning to get up to make breakfast for him. Might seem petty but I believe it's give and take.
Like I was literally not asking much not evn the moon and the stars.
It hurts, knowing that he won't sacrifice one game of sport or set a little time aside to just be with me.
So here I am, just carrying on.... Until one day I walk out.
I feel defeated, lonely, unappreciated, etc etc
Not a pity party, just blowing off steam, because evn if I say all this to him, it's like talking to a brick.
Plz note that these are under tough circumstances where I'm still trying eg. His Gambling addiction, lies, lies, lies, money issues etc
The pathetic wife.
@zaaab
You are not alone....
I can relate last night i snuggled up against my spouse simply because he never bothers I just wanted to feel contact and he patted my hand.... seriously could not muster any effort but that ?
we too have such disconnect i go to bed he watches tv late and then is exhausted next day or falls asleep on couch and has a sore neck from angle and that is somehow on me i am suppose to stay awake and come check on him every 30 minutes of something....?
No matter what hoops we jump through it will not be enough relationships are a team sport not an individual effort.
Yes! Omw
The other day he asked me if I came to check on him, he hardly slept.
Lol like we sleep in the bed, y should ine checking on you on the couch??
Ah it's so tiring
Feel the same every day of my life. Always to tired to put any effort into myself or the home we live 8n. But will run across the earth for her friends and family. All her friends and family don't like me or what me around so much cause according to them I'm the issue. Yeah I feel you all the way. S raping at the ground to be noticed like a damn puppy.
I'm so sorry to hear.
Everyone deserves someone that treats them right.
It's so common and almost normal for spouse's to put effort in everyone else's spouse's, kids, marriages evn giving advice... Yet in their own homes their own spouses are experiencing the things they give advice for. Hypocritical? Innit?
Lol the other day I removed his laptop from the bag before he left just to see if he'd notice. He messaged almost immediately to ask about it.
Sigh, seems it's only me he doesn't notice
All the best to you tho, best to prioritize yourself
@zaaab You are not pathetic (as you wrote), just with an unsupportive husband sadly. You crave love and warmth as any spouse would. It's your right to feel that from your husband who is your guardian, your caretaker, head of the house as it's said even. Not giving that to his wife, her basic desire for love and affection is plain wrong on his part. So please, do be kind to yourself. Not your fault as I see it (I am a guy btw).
I hope you get the desired support, warmth, love, compassion from him. Being a wife and mother is not easy. I hope he sees your effort and is kinder and loving to you ❤
Thank you for these kind words..
You should give workshops telling husbands these things lol...
Sadly, they can easily offer these exact things their wives beg for, to someone else's wife or some other woman.
He better hurry up if he's deciding to do that, because I ain't gona stick around for very long
@zaaab I'm not workshop ready husband lol. I makes lots of mistakes. But, yes I do have the right intent and put honest effort in the relationship.
Good for you that you are willing to move away, as you really should! You deserve your peace and happiness. And, if it's not coming from your spouse, you are better being away from him.