Wanting to better need advice
So long story short me and my boyfriend were in a relationship for two years we are still together. Our first year of dating his mom passed in Aug so he up and left without saying a word to me for 5-6 months so l moved on eventually was with 2 ppl during that break.
He came back in January 2024 and we got back together. Well l've made him feel like he was crazy because I was doing stupid *** like not deleting old contacts or dudes I haven't spoken to are texting me on social media
*** etc. Basically | did a lot of stupid *** no cheating but | didn't make him feel secure in trusting me I wasn't honest about certain *** Even after his warnings and telling me l decide to be obvious and stupid and not fix the stuff in my phone and fix myself. Basically I wasn't honest about sleeping with anyone during the time we weren't together, even though it was in the past it contributed to the hurt. Now he's having a moral conflict about whether he wants to be with me and trust me. I want to be better for him and grow as a woman. But he doesn't want to hear my words anymore he wants action . And I feel like a terrible person for putting him through all of that . I need advice
@redruby0807
Situations can have many variables. Him up and leaving to deal with his grief over his mom and not saying a word to you... for most would signal it is over and people could move on or hook up with other people
now that he came back.... It sounds like neither of you communicated about the 5-6 months break.
Did he explain why he never told you he needed time for grief ? did he assume you would wait with no indication of why or how long he would be gone? have you had a real discussion about your feelings about his leaving?
do you think your not changing or deleting things on your phone is almost tempting fate he stumbles across it and then discuss in a fight?
I have a emotional support person my partner is unaware of he has not looked at my phone but a piece of me thinks if it happened he found out ....... it would be easier then telling him how and why i confide and share my feelings with someone else.
We did discuss a little bit when he came back . And he did tell me how he was doing those months he was gone . And when I asked him why he didn’t even remotely see me before he left like he said he would , he said “Because he did want to you knew I was some type of “*** “ but while he was away he ended up missing me and wanted a real relationship that’s why he came back . I think I made a revelation today my very first serious relationship was exhausting and he wanted me to open up . I did because it was important but when I asked him to open up he wouldn’t do the same for me . And I don’t think I every truly healed from that like I thought I did and now I’m treating this good man the same way I was treated .
@redruby0807
think many have been in the same place as you describe