What am I supposed to feel?
Ever since my boyfriend mentioned that he doesn’t always wake up feeling excited or feel excited when we hang out, I’ve started thinking about it in a way I never did before. We’ve been together for over five years, live together, and see each other all the time, so I never really questioned whether I was “excited enough” to see him. I’ve always just felt grateful to have him around and enjoyed spending time together. I never thought I needed to feel a certain level of excitement to know that I’m happy to be with him.
But ever since he brought it up, I can’t help but feel sad and question myself. Am I supposed to feel excited every time I see him or constantly look forward to spending the day together? Because the truth is, I don’t always feel that way, and now I feel like something is wrong with me because of it.
Especially because we live together and have been together for 5+ years, being around each other has become such a normal and comfortable part of my life. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being with him or appreciate him. I also know my boyfriend struggles with depression, so I understand that he may experience emotions and excitement differently. But now I worry that maybe I’m too boring or that I don’t love or appreciate him enough simply because I don’t feel constant excitement.
What hurts most is that I never felt like there was a problem with how I felt before, it only became something I started questioning after hearing him talk about it.
@RaisinsRGrapes
Well guess what, I agree with you and your thought process.. you don't have to fall down and break your back falling over somebody, like every day should be completely new.. I understand that you are concerned and having questions but intense love and devotion doesn't last forever.. As the saying says love is fleeting.. Your smarter than you think! It's great that you are asking these questions on the forums trying to gather information..🌲
@RaisinsRGrapes
I think you are fine not boring. Most people after growing into a relationship we are not always excited to see them or excited about mundane things we might have been at first... It does not mean we do not love them. There will be moments again, but it is often not a daily thing.
If people are expecting fireworks after years together is kidding themselves. I have seen many people keep looking for that and end up alone. The rush of getting to know someone and the honeymoon phase (even if not married) not forever.
