What do you think?

Hi...I was engaged to someone I truly loved, but our relationship became very confusing and emotionally hard for me. He used to smoke hash before we got serious, and he always told me he stopped. But every time we traveled, he would crave smoking again. His old friends kept calling him a lot, and he said he didn't want to “lose them because he might need them one day.” This made me feel unsafe and unsure if he was actually staying clean.

During conflicts, he often became silent, defensive, and emotionally distant. If we fought, he would shut down and give me the silent treatment until I talk and apologize. I’m someone with very strong emotions and this dynamic made me feel unstable and constantly worried.

Two weeks ago we had a big argument because he went to those friends house. I exploded and told him very bad words. He gave me silent treatment for 7 days. I called him to end things between us. He said OK. Since then it’s been 16 days of no contact. He didn’t block me, but he didn’t try to reach me either.

Now I’m feeling guilty because I kept doubting his honesty about smoking and his friends and because of my impulsivity.