What is a Stagnant Relationship?
Disclaimer “Each relationship experience is unique and personal.”
Relationships are growing or they are …
Relationships are never stagnant. BUT, Not all agree with me. So we will say “I am wrong”. Which is fine.
Then, ‘What is a Stagnant Relationship?’
It looks like:
The Magic is Gone, but you miss your partner? Even though your partner is sitting right beside you. Does your mood change when thinking of your partner? A relationship can go stagnant when you are always lost in responsibilities, to-do list? You forgot how to live in the moment? You spend so much time doing what is required and you’re not taking time out to enjoy your partner? Feel stuck and drained, way too comfortable?
What causes a stagnant relationship?
Fixed mindsets also known as stubbornness. Both parties are not willing to budge. Fixed in the opinion.
Lack of Connection, they say that Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. A romantic relationship is beyond and deeper than a physical thing. But when it isn’t it isn’t.
Values differ
Lack of Intimacy, our relationships start out with fireworks and pazazz. But then before you know it we are in two different worlds with ice crystals growing.
Frequent Arguments, if the thought of ‘didn’t we already discuss things?’ goes through the brain more than once? Something is going on with us.
How to change the stagnant to energized and vibrant?
Here are a few suggestions to add back.
Know your wants and needs. I know it sounds kind of simple or obvious, but ‘what do you need and what do you want beforehand. That way you will be able to communicate and listen for a balance between you and your partner.
Do something different, spontaneous or radical. Sometimes we get so caught up in our routines and our priorities, to-dos lists that we miss out. Get with your partner and come up with something new and special today.
Set Boundaries. Maybe the stagnant feeling is because we don’t understand our partners boundaries or respect their space or maybe your partner doesn’t respect yours? Give it a chance and explain why (or listen to why) a boundary is needed. Boundaries are healthy when respected.
Go on a Date! Our lives are busy, we are busy. Isn’t hard to get lost in priorities and duties. On a Date, we can spend quality time together and share a reprioritized relationship. Plan a schedule of alone time with your partner and leave all the hustle behind to rekindle and reenergize each other.
Set expectations that are realistic. When you both are working on it, don’t be hard on each other and on yourselves. Baby steps are motivational, keep at it inch by inch. With patience and Gratitude
Probably could break this one up but, We are human and imperfect. Accept and love yourself including the imperfections. Have patience. How can we love others if we are not able to love ourselves? A stagnant relationship can not recover if we don’t love ourselves.
Disclaimer “Each relationship experience is unique and personal.”
What ways can we improve ourselves to improve our relationships?
@Barltik2065
"What ways can we improve ourselves to improve our relationships?'
since we only have control to change ourselves most all improvements help in our lives. Being Accepting of your own growth and other partners growth is key
One of the best things to learn IMO is to be honest with yourself and that honesty translates into other relationships
In relationships growth is not always done at the same time frame or speed ......as the growth is for the other person.
A big issue i think in relationship that feel stagnant is a person not accepting the other has grown and changed.....( maybe we do not want them to change) .... or a person wishing the other would catch up in growth and be on same wavelength.
other relationships grow in different directions....... and some stagnant relationships Cannot be saved .
@toughTiger6481
Sounds like you have some experience in this.
We can only be held for our on actions and reactions, that is so true.
@Barltik2065 Sometimes in a relationship, people grow and change in different ways. They become completely different than when you first met. They pick up habits that are unhealthy. It's sad when on side of the relationship remembers to sweet, loving times and the other doesn't. This is when regret creeps in. Then you feel trapped because now there is not only the two of you to consider. There is no growth, just decay.
@NotAllHere713
“Sometimes in a relationship, people grow and change in different ways. They become completely different than when you first met.”
Yes we do this unconsciously. The people we interact with and be around influence us without even knowing it.
“They pick up habits that are unhealthy.”
Do you think it is possible to pick up healthy habits? And what do you think we should do to help us prevent picking up unhealthy ones?
“It's sad when on side of the relationship remembers to sweet, loving times and the other doesn't.”
It is amazing how our brains work like that. Perspectives can play funny games on us and sometimes trick us.
“Then you feel trapped because now there is not only the two of you to consider.”
Is there another alternative possible?
@Barltik2065 I love how you described this!
What ways can we improve ourselves to improve our relationships?
To be honest with ourselves and with our partner, to practice using "I" statements, to learn to be able to make compromises within the relationship, to learn to control our Ego and of course to make sure that we have a life outside our relationship.
@KateDoskocilova
WOW!
Those are amazing ideas. Thank you so much for sharing J
@Barltik2065
Excellent post!
Relationships ebb and flow throughout the decades for sure. It takes tons of communication.
Plan a date to discuss relationship issues only …. Separate from date nights or the business of running a household or parenting …. Check in often.
You could do a digital journal and both write his you feel there if that is something you think could work. Penzu.com works well and is free.
In the BDSM world the vetting process is a deep dive and I think vanillas can benefit from a similar process.
I am married 21 years but polyamorous. I also have two other partners one male and one female 6 years. It is a process for us to become polyamorous. Issues of infidelity caused us to reflect and realize we value our marriage but we do wanted other relationships as well.
All your suggestions are perfect ! 💕💕💕💕💕
