What would you guys do about my situation?
My boyfriend used to *** while thinking about several girls when he was single. The problem is that this wasn’t before he met me, because we had already been in a pretty serious relationship. During the time we were broken up, he did that with girls that we both know, and honestly, it makes me really uncomfortable.
I asked him to stop following the girls he did that with, and he told me that he only followed one of them for that reason, so he unfollowed her. But recently I found out that he also talked to and greeted some of the girls he had thought about. I saw that as disrespectful, so I talked to him about it and decided to forgive him.
Now I’ve found out that he also lied to me when he said he only followed one of them for that reason, because he actually followed more. Even though he has unfollowed them now, I’m really angry because I feel like so many things have been building up, and especially because he lied to me.
I know that sometimes I react badly and, when I’m really angry, I say hurtful things to him, even if I don’t insult him. I know that isn’t right either, but I feel like this whole situation has made me build up a lot of anger and distrust.
I'm so sorry about this but my best advice in my opinion is to break up lying is something that shouldn't ever happen in a relationship its only going to drive you to not believe a single word he says dont let anyone disrespect you especially if youre serious about a relationship with him
From my personal experience as someone who was both a cheater and cheated on (ive grown alot since then bit i live that regret ) they wont change they wont change or be serious its basic respect for your partner, you having to discuss it multiple times isn't right
@quickwittedPear4489
I really agree with this and Thanks for sharing your reply!
I wanna add that lying create mistrust which breaks a massive pillar in a relationship. I took have been a cheater and been cheated on and it is basic decency and respect to live by (I still feel guilty for my actions but we all go through rough experiences and hard times)
@dipaalmi I send you warmth and lots of healing during this period ❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️🫶🏻
Exactly as a recovering from my pains ive bene caused and have caused others i do regret my actions but I am growing for the better, lying is the worts thing to do to anyone but also keeping in mind too that if they lied about that and hide the small things what else are people willing tk lie for and about its beautiful how you worded it Exactly
@dipaalmi Thank you for being brave to reach out about this. I understand that this situation has caused a lot of distress for you, and I'm really sorry that this has happened to you :( I would encourage you to seriously consider what you value in a relationship, and act according to what feels best for you and your life. From what you wrote, it sounds like your boyfriend might not hold some of the same values you do about this relationship, or he might not understand how important and hurtful this situation is for you. I hope you are able to resolve things in a positive way for you. I have seen you asking about this in several places, and it's great to get many perspectives like that. I'd also encourage you to seek support in 1-on-1 chats with the Listeners here, and from professional coaches/therapists if they are available to you.
@dipaalmi
I am genuinely deeply sorry you went through all that.
To answer your question honestly if I was in your situation and just one of those things happened to me I’d end the relationship bc real relationships do not have any of that in them and you deserve better, not to suffer anymore. When you’re ready to do so I suggest you tell him it’s over.
@dipaalmi
Tbh id break up
