am I in the wrong?
Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for around 2 years now. We’ve had very many challenges in our relationship but somehow always managed to stay together.
he’s blamed me for cheating on him, when I really just texted some of my best friends who just happened to be guys and had a rush in me while we were in high school. (That was almost 8 years ago) because of this we faced many challenges that led to him going out every weekend and getting so messed up he could t walk and would go talk and dance with other girls. While I stayed home crying and labeled a *** for texting my friends.
we fixed that and move to today, he’s threatens to break up with me so much and I’m so scared. I paid for his college tuition, his equipment for his nighttime job, he uses my car I pay for his meals etc. I thought I was doing all this to keep him. One night I went to one of his gigs and these girls who I felt uncomfortable with bought him drinks and started dancing on him, since he was the dj he don’t do much so I intervened already being a few drinks in, he got so mad he told me to leave since I was an embarrassment he go heated me for a day after that. Then told me I could t hang out with him cuz I had to learn my lesson. He says he’s getting tired of my attitude but I just want to feel safe in my relationship. Yesterday was his last straw since my bank account is in 0s now because I give it all to him I had some money saved in a bag that I didn’t want anyone to know about “out of sight out of mind” then he went through it thinking I was hiding some guys thing but then I told him it was because I didn’t want him or anyone to know I was saving money. He got so upset he left and said he needed time.
today he tells me he’s leaving because this is what I wanted and that he warned me. He said he needed time but that he would be back because all I am doing is bringing him down. I don’t understand what I’m doing, I pay for everything, I help him with school, I lend him my car, I give him love. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Is there anything I should have done? Was me hiding that money wrong? He won’t call or text and he always does I’m a friend he’s genuinely leaving this time
@pricklyelder as I read this I felt so protective of you! Like if a sister came to me feeling like this. I just felt so strongly that you are wonderful and not given the respect of appreciation you deserve. I'm so sorry that these hard times in your relationship have happened. I don't know why he can't seem to see all that you do for him.
I can say with confidence you did absolutely nothing wrong. I think it was smart of you to keep some money for yourself. 2 years in ultimately not that long to be with someone. You are not required to share everything with them. And you are allowed to have your own money and things that is off limits.
If you ever need to talk or just want some support feel free to reach out. I hope you are doing alright and kind find some peace within yourself that you did nothing wrong 😊
@pricklyelder
You did nothing wrong .. it is your money if i was you i would have opened a savings account in a bank that no one knows about instead of a place someone could and in your case did come across...
You are supporting his life and he has no respect for you.... If this time is real and he leaves i wonder if he found someone else to pay his bills... the lesson here is you cannot buy someones loyalty or love.... the price just goes up and they forget all the things you have already paid for....
relationships although at certain times one may step up more then the other should be as even as possible what you describe was all you and he is a user.
Do you want him back ... if so .....you need to realize if the situation of you doing all the paying and he is using your car and your stuff anytime he wants more money/ things whatever he will threaten to leave.
take your losses get all your stuff you can ask for the money spent on his equipment etc and do not look back...this has nothing to do with texting your male friend it is about him using you for all he can get that is why he may be mad you for having a stash of cash for you. he wants it for Him ...
