bf and infidelity issues
i dont even know where to start on this one. i (21) have been dating my bf/maybe ex (21) for 3 yrs, and it’s been a constant battle of him cheating on me, and watching pornography. the entire relationship, that’s been a problem. just last night, i found out that he had been lying since september about watching porn, and he went to extremes yet again. he was on groups in telegram, as well as downloading *** for their livestreams. not only that, but late nov he downloaded another dating app and made an account. he claims to having not talked to other women from all of the apps, but im finding it really hard to believe him.
on top of all that, oct he downloaded a different dating app, and i told him that in order for me to stay, he has to find some sort of way to fix his lying and cheating problems. he promised that that was going to be the last time he did that, only for me to find out last night that he did the complete opposite; didnt follow through with fixing his problems, and instead continued his behavior.
he and i are on a break now, and i told him the only way we will ever get back together was if he figured out a way to fix his issues, and actually follow through with it this time. meaning ill be checking in on what he’s doing, ill be doubling down on how i monitor what he’s doing, etc. and if he messes up this last deal, we will be breaking up forever. im just so scared that he’s lying to me again about actually putting in the work to fix himself, i dont know how ill be able to trust that he is.
anyway, can anyone give in their inputs on this, maybe find out some things he could do, something i should do, etc
@lilth0
Are you ready to walk away because IMO that is what you will end up doing....
do you want to be his GF and partner or his warden and parole officer... to make sure he is doing things you want... IF he comes back the only thing you will have succeeded in is teaching him to lie better or hide things....better. do you think the message you will be watching his every move is a reason to come back? that is not a healthy relationship.
if you want to be a couple ........maybe counseling would help you both see WHY he keeps doing this.... he knows he can be caught .. he might have made it easy for you to find out why? what is he looking for that simply he is NOT getting in your relationship.
people know when they cross a line ... they do not sign up to hook up apps by accident.....
if people rationalize it to themselves if they feel something they are missing that is is OK
i chatted with a friend who made me feel great about myself...... my partner did not make me feel that way still is not great at it ...............and if i wanted a boost most likely will look for validation elsewhere again unless my partner wants to make me feel wanted and appreciated.
