idek anymore
for so long ive been suppressing how i feel with my bf. i dont want to be rude or make him seem terrible, but hes so sensitive all the time and constantly blames himself for everything and im getting tired of it. and i cant even tell him how i feel about it or other things because hes always trying to blame himself and he starts to cry. and all i want is so reassurance but all i do is reassure him. his constant blame and insecurity makes me feel like im not allowed to feel bad about things because hes gonna take it the wrong way. also whenever i speak i always seem to be saying something wrong, the tone is a little off, or im just not “normal”. and i always feel like he doesnt want to talk to me because hes always telling me to go to sleep instead of talking to him, then cries saying it feels like i dont wanna talk to him . plus whenever i stop talking it call it goes completely silent, he never has anything to contribute to the conversation..
Hello @raspberryhoney3
It sounds like you are living in a uncomfortable environment. i strongly suggest couples counseling.
i wish i could tell you to try to change him but that is unlikely...
You really just need to focus on yourself like reaching out on here getting support, it's so unfortunate that your boyfriend is not focused on anything substantial.
Keep your head up, you are trying your best, sending you good vibes...✨🌟💫
@raspberryhoney3
sounds like your BF needs to do a lot of work on himself. If really has that low of self-esteem he needs to work on himself. we can NOT change others only ourselves.
self-blame and need of reassurance constantly can be used to make you feel you cannot leave him or feel guilty like you are hurting him. That sounds like what you already wrote. you cannot keep up all the work and conversation in this if he cannot be a partner maybe you should suggest a break until a time, he can be a contributing partner.
Counseling is like a gym membership only helpful IF you use it and willingly and consistently participate. how are you feeling? have your feelings changed a bit that you care for him, but this has worn you down. It is OK to leave or find what you want/ need in a relationship.
