i feel like a burden to them

my partner, who i care about very deeply, seems to be growing more and more distant, and it’s been upsetting me more than i would like to admit. 

it’s an extremely busy time of year for us both, and we are both under a lot of stress, so i understand that’s affecting their behavior. however, they simply don’t seem to enjoy my presence all that much anymore. when attending events, they have a tendency to go interact with everyone but me, and the interactions with me are brief, and seem disinterested. 

in social situations, they sometimes talk over or interrupt me due to not having heard me, or i’ll find myself having to repeat the same phrase multiple times in order to get their attention. now, i know this isn’t that big of a deal, and i feel silly being upset over it, especially considering the fact that they have adhd (as do i), and i know that accidentally interrupting/having a short attention span is a symptom. however, it just simply seems like i think and care about them much more than they think/care about me. i’ve asked multiple times if they are okay, if i’ve done anything wrong, if they are still okay with me, etc., and on paper, it seems like everything should be normal? after we’re less busy, i plan on talking to them (which i’ve told them, asking them many times if there’s a day that works for them, but it doesn’t seem to be something they’re terribly concerned with), and telling them about some of the things they’ve done that have hurt my feelings, but mostly communicating my sensitivity about this kind of thing. 

i have an intense fear of abandonment, and i’ve had relationships in the past where i’ve simply faded away from the other person’s life as a person they care about. i’m so terrified that that’s what’s happening. however, i can’t help but feel like i’m being childish, unreasonable, and asking too much. they haven’t been negative or mean to me. if they ignore/speak over me, it’s never on purpose (obv i can’t know for a fact, but i really don’t think they would do that). they don’t intend to hurt me at all, and i hate hate hate to admit that they have, even a little bit. i fear im being clingy and overreactive. i know i have attachment issues, and we discussed this toward the beginning of our relationship. it just seems like they’d rather talk to and be around anyone else. not only do i feel like i no longer have anything to offer them even though i try my best to, but i actively feel like a burden to them. i feel as though i’m weighing them down with my mental illness. as much as i hate to admit it, they kind of make me feel really sad. i feel like i don’t mean much to them. i’m sure that’s not the case. i know that’s not the case, but why does it feel this way? 

it’s hurting me very, very deeply. in my mind, im almost preparing for them to say that they no longer want anything to do with me (i know i have a tendency to catastrophize). in some moments, i feel utterly unlovable, unpalatable, unwelcome, etc. i feel like such an overwhelmingly negative presence in their life. i want to tell them this, but i’m afraid it’ll put them off majorly, like “oh, you’re too ill/anxious/depressed for me.” what should i do? i’m so upset.