relationship anxiety
recently i have found that i tend to get anxious when my bf does not reply to my texts or when he seems disinterested when i try to converse with him or talk to him. He is really busy with some other commitments right now, but a lot of the time i feel that it would be nice to be told that i am enough or that I am a priority in his life, or just to be acknowledged? he does that sometimes, but in general he is pretty quiet, not confrontational, and very old-school to a point where he really only uses his phone to text me (which is a reason why our texts seem one sided to me, but it still makes me anxious a lot). I want to try to get over this relationship anxiety and make it go away because it causes us to argue when I’m anxious/upset about something, and neither of us know how to communicate. I just don’t really know what to do. Is this a me problem? Is this a communication problem? Everything is so confusing.
@anonymousturtle1121
It is a communication issue..... it is different expectations and you want him to respond to your texts and maybe better text first saying something sweet. Have you told him that ?
when texting i get lost too on when is acknowledging text is enough?
it goes back and forth like we feel they texted we must answer..... it becomes where I avoid texting unless i have time for back and forth....and it becomes where i avoid those who just keep texting i have work and driving and cannot handle those who expect a prompt answer unaware of how busy others are.
Hey there,
The situation you described sounds like a confusing one and more so an exhausting for, especially for you.
What seems to be the root of the situation is the behavioral difference between you and your boyfriend. You are probably expecting him to behave a certain way which is beyond his personality. So, it seems like a communication issue to me. I had a similar experience where the person I loved was pretty old school that they would just take up calls and not answer texts and that would give me major anxiety, especially when they were actually busy and won't take my calls. What helped me was talking to her about it and finding a common ground which in our case was spending more time together in real life, like just taking extra walks. Have you considered talking to him and trying to figure out alternatives that might help you feel better? If yes, what was his response?
I have tried to talk to him and meeting up with him in real life really helps a lot. The problem comes when we both get busy and can’t spend quality IRL time together - this issue was really excessively amplified recently when we had to spend some time apart doing long distance - he still isn’t back yet but will be in a few days - and right now it’s just how he isn’t able to respond to me very frequently or even keep a full conversation. When he is busy his style of conversation is to reply to texts when he can, and come back to respond to anything else later. So frequently I find myself in the middle of a conversation with him and he has just disappeared somehow. I understand he is busy but I don’t think it is too much to ask for him to just simply say a goodbye to me. Maybe it was the way that I phrased it, but he seemed pretty annoyed. I think it was the way I phrased it as I think the way I said it may have overwhelmed him. But since the end of that conversation we have not talked at all, and that just continues to amplify my relationship anxiety with him. It’s complicated. I just want it all to go away.