Advice needed over here (grab a tea)
I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 3 years, here’s the thing. I’ve spent 18 months of that in Australia, 15 months apart from her.
When I came back it was good, it’s been 6 months since I returned. She’s great, she really is, we get on and my friends and family love her. Even you would. She’s a genuinely lovely person, one of the best.
Recently I’ve not felt the same, I’ve felt disconnected, it’s been going on for a while. I don’t feel physically attracted to her, yet I like being with her in person.
When we talk on the phone (she lives 500 miles apart (I know, I don’t make this easy)) I can’t seem interested, I don’t feel myself, and im beginning to not like the person I am when that happens. I become detached and not wanting to be physically touching (and one of my love languages is touch)
I find myself looking back at past relationships and I felt a genuine want and need with them. I felt way more chemistry with other girlfriends. I use to have that with my girlfriend, is that time that’s created that lack of spark?
Right now I feel there’s high compatibility, low chemistry. I don’t feel the physical attraction and ‘spicing it up’ doesn’t feel right.
I love her, but I’m not sure in what way anymore.
What the hell should I do.
@Lew2101
Hello, that makes sense what you're describing:
- Your girlfriend is amazing, you love her, your friends and family love her, and you feel like you're both highly compatible. (Yay 😊)
- But you spent a long time away from her, and upon returning you feel like a certain spark or excitement just isn't there quite as much and there's a bit of a disconnect or stagnation. Things feel different than they did before.
I found a couple links that have some tips related to this.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-simple-ways-to-reignite-your-relationship
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/tips-to-reignite-the-romantic-spark-in-your-relationship/
A couple things I took away from skimming through both links are:
- It's very common for relationships to have this issue of stagnation at some point or another and it doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything fatally wrong with the relationship.
- Possibly it can help make things interesting to introduce new/exciting/enjoyable activities, increase the amount of quality time you're spending together, and try to find ways of breaking up or disrupting routines that feel monotonous or uninteresting.