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Complicated infidelity

User Profile: funnyTiger6441
funnyTiger6441 December 13th, 2022

Before my girlfriend and I started dating we told eachother we like eachother but agreed not to date at that time without actually discussing what it meant after a few days we had some arguments then she started to feel I don’t really like her and only said it cause she said it first so she was ending the relationship and moving on but she didn’t talk to me about this instead she decided to meet up with another guy that was interested in her to give him a chance when she met with the guy the guy made a move on her and she gave in cause she felt he will be her boyfriend after everything had happened she regretted and came to tell me what had happened that day and I was angry initially but after some days I forgave her (it didn’t hurt that much at the time) then we continued with our relationship for a while but as we continued it started to bother me more and now 10 months later it’s all I think of it really bothers me . Since then she hasn’t done anything like that again and she really regrets she’s a good girl and if this had not happened I wouldn’t have any problem with her but then now it really hurts it happened and I am looking for advice to help me get over it

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 December 13th, 2022

@funnyTiger6441

you were not together she had another encounter you got back together and now 10 months later it bothers you............ are you perhaps bothered by something else by that incident is easier to explain why you are bothered?

4 replies
User Profile: funnyTiger6441
funnyTiger6441 OP December 13th, 2022

sorry I do not understand what you are asking could you explain further

3 replies
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 December 14th, 2022

@funnyTiger6441

Sorry if i was not clear i am just wondering if something else has come up or happened that bothers you and you in your mind are going back to that incident.... i mean i can see a person bothered at first but as time goes by the anger/ upset should fade not grow..... if growing in bothering you is it really that one instance she confessed or something else

2 replies
User Profile: funnyTiger6441
funnyTiger6441 OP December 14th, 2022

it was that one instance

1 reply
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 December 14th, 2022

@funnyTiger6441

I understand it was one instance but for example when other things are bothering me ... i clearly pick the worst of things he has ever done to focus on .... like i said the longer it has been the anger and pain should shrink not grow.

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User Profile: dukeofdearham
dukeofdearham December 14th, 2022

@funnyTiger6441,

what infidelity?

The two of you were not in a relationship.

You're making an issue out of nothing.

User Profile: reliableWest8997
reliableWest8997 December 14th, 2022

HI, I just feel like I need to chime in and I hope you don't mind but I really need to be a bit blunt. You really need to get over this. Right now she is with you and she did not cheat with you. She is not interested in going back to that person, and if you can't deal with this, you will risk losing her over something like this. Do you really think it's worth losing someone you love or like and compatible with over something that already happened? She is not cheating on you now and she has good values and you say she is a "good girl", not that that matters, but I really think you need to think about this. This is not her problem now but your insecurity. Do you see that?

User Profile: reliableWest8997
reliableWest8997 December 14th, 2022

by the way, I apologize if that was sounding a bit harsh. If it bother you, then maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship.

User Profile: BlueJ69
BlueJ69 December 14th, 2022

All of these other responses are ***. She broke up with YOU, dude. And then she *** some other guy? She just wanted to do whatever she wanted to do, and when it didn’t work out she came back to you because it was safe and easy.

1 reply
User Profile: reliableWest8997
reliableWest8997 December 14th, 2022

@BlueJ69 hey, he said they had some arguments but he didn't specify what it was about, then she went to somebody else, so something must have happened since she went to someone else... there was no dating or commitment, so she didn't have to go back to him honestly

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