Hello :0 welcome back to the informative series (again). I should probably regard these as easter eggs rather than weekly discussions smh. But hello, welcome back anyway. The last post "Boundaries | Aspects of a Relationship #3" can be seen here.

Today's topic is trust.

Our collective trust issues are rising up, I can practically feel them snort at the title of this post. Heh, so without further ado, let's get into it, shall we?

t r u s t | #4

We've all, at one point or another, had our trust broken so violently, that the thought of freely giving it away makes us sick to our stomachs. We live caged lives, shrouding our feelings in layers of deception to please prying eyes that try to look into our soul. It's okay to hide, it's a survival mechanism after all. Your body learns what actions result in you getting hurt, so it tries to prevent it from happening again.

In a healthy relationship with your partner though, it is important to have unguarded trust.

I get it. Most of us have that one cheating ex, that one person (or two) who wrecked you inside out, and you can't help being nervous. Scared. Afraid. You can't help the thought spiral. You can't stop your shaking fingers from swiping through their instagram following, their likes, their messages.

That's okay. I can help. Here are some helpful points to remember.

a) Trust is built, not innate:
There's no such thing as a perfect relationship from the start. It's only achieved over time. It's okay if you're having trouble trusting your partner. Demanding trust is never okay. The more you take, the less you have. Trust is given, and that only happens once you're comfortable with your partner.

b) Affection, Support & Respect:
The best thing you can do is be considerate. Think about how they would feel. Support them when they do trust you with something they are sensitive about. Respect their decisions. Remember to show affection here and there, they can't read your mind. Reassurance is nice. It means you care. Remember to show that.

c) DON'T ever let your partner use their lack of trust to control you:
On the flip side, if you don't trust your partner, do not control them. Do not use this as an excuse to set unhealthy boundaries. If you notice yourself overstepping, rethink. If you cannot control your overbearing actions, considering leaving the relationship. You do not want to cause harm, trauma or upsetness to your partner because of your own. If your partner keeps you in the guilt-tripping spiral of "but you know (insert ex/abuser's name) did this to me, you can't do it too i'm just trying to make sure you don't :((" Please recognize this. Take action. You are not worth being someone's toy. You are worth so much more.

c) If you need help, don't hesitate to ask:
It's okay if you are unable to control yourself. But it's not okay to recognize this and then not do anything about it. Professional help exists. They can help you work through your trauma, reshape who you are.


an activity for you: take a step out of your comfort zone, and tell us one thing you've never told anyone. trust us.

tagging le taglist: (and a few people I think would enjoy this post)
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