How to get my husband to care
I have been with my husband for 3 years now and we have a 2 year old. Ever since I gave birth things have changed. I have to beg my husband to kiss me or hug me. He comes home and lays down with his phone and that's all he does everyday. He has issues having sex now, its basically impossible. If I speak to him about it he will try for a day and then he will stop and I will have to beg for attention. He gets more enjoyment looking through *** or YouTube than me. I dont know if its because I have put on alot of weight or he just doesn't think he has to try anymore now that we are married and have a kid. How do I get him to show I intrest again? Do I lose weight? Dress prettier? Do everything for him?
Please do not tell me to leave him because I am both physically and financially unable to do that. I just want advice on how to get him to show affection more like he used to.
@selfdisciplinedBlackberry5390 Ohhh how my heart aches for you. I would hope no one would tell you to throw your marriage away and just walk away. We don't know the full circumstances in your marriage aside from this small glimpse of what you have shared. But if I may share... here's what I gather.
You gave birth 2 years ago. The only thing that should have changed is how amazing your body to be able to give birth to a beautiful life! That's beautiful! And what else is beautiful is you!
While I appreciate you trying to do what you need to get the attention, love, and intimacy you deserve in your marriage, it shouldn't have to all fall on you. I assure you the problem is not your looks. Even the most good looking supermodels get cheated on. I believe it's just easy to go through the motions of life when people are marriage x amount of years. Sometimes couple stop dating each other and it does damage. Sometimes they take each other for granted.
At the end of the day, it takes 2 people to want to make things work and improve. Not just you. Your husband needs to do his part. Assure you, love you, validate you, be there for you, hear you. He needs to value you, appreciate you, and make you feel every bit of it. That's the least he can do considering you gave him a sweet beautiful child. You deserve that.
You deserve to be happy and I wish you it. I truly hope your husband sees how his actions is hurting it. It can damage one's self esteem and I really want the best for you. Wishing your marriage improves in this area!
Bbb
Get skinny and start walking around the house near naked, if he doesn’t jump on you he could be gay?
@selfdisciplinedBlackberry5390
This is a situation that many men go thru after having a child....It is actually fairly common. It can be many factors. this is a subject you might want to look up and read about i googled and many many articles pop up.
it is also confusing when our partners seem disinterested or such and many people internalize and start to question their attractiveness etc. this is a down ward cycle and it is so much better to address it openly then worry about it is us. In a lull in my marriage I believed it was ME and it caused issues even after the situation improved ..... i always felt less than because i had told myself it was me.
@selfdisciplinedBlackberry5390
I have been there and feel for you. I would never say for you to walk away from your marriage.
one of the biggest things is Communication, even if it means you pestering him daily to open up and discuss what is going through his head.
I have been with my wife 42 years and sure we have had periods where I was in my own world and she was in her own world.
We were in a rut for the last almost 20 years, but I have always stuck beside her. Over the last 10 - 11 months, we have started communicating better towards each other and things are better than ever.
I hope you can work things out with your husband and get things back on track. 💕 🤗 Sending lots of love and hugs your way.
