Is he cheating?
My boyfriend of 5 years has started a new job, he has become very close with this girl and it has made my anxiety really bad. I keep crying and saying I feel like he’s going to leave me and he keeps getting annoyed and that’s he’s not. However, every time he messages this girl he moves his phone away from me, I’ve also noticed he’s muted the notifications on WhatsApp for her messages. I know I shouldn’t have but I have looked on his phones few times, I looked again tonight and he has deleted all traces of their messages. How do I bring it up with him without saying I have looked on his phone?
He might not be necessarily be cheating but this is not a healthy relationship. When the communication is bad to the point where you look through phones is when you need to reconsider being in this relationship. It seems like he is pulling away from you (just speculation) and bringing up the messages might seal the coffin. However, I don’t know what he is like or how he’ll will react for sure but just be honest with yourself and him, tell him how this is making you feel, your health is very important and you mustn’t let a relationship bring you down. Take care of yourself.
If it makes you jealous try texting with another guy so you can see if he starts to notice too. Then you can see if he starts to get jealous. Talk to him to see how it feels to you when some other girl texts your man.
He will say you are being accusational regardless of how you bring it up. My boyfriend refuses to delete his messages. He said I read into it too much when I asked him about it. I can't advise you how to get over this but I can say it will be as heated as he wants it to be. This person won't admit they are wrong or cheating. You can't be around him all the time. You definitely can't talk to her. Honesty is best but it's a gamble. If you tell him you looked he is going to change the password. You also have to be ready to end this conversation with a break up because that's a possibility.
