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Just wondering what people think

User Profile: Princetomyanxiety
Princetomyanxiety September 13th, 2022

So my boyfriend has a crush on his best friend (it’s a poly sort of thing) and I just wanted to talk about it. Nothing too serious, just lunch table gossip.

Things my bf has done to tell him:

  • Held onto his hand after a high five and looked into his eyes so romantically
  • stared at him all through french class, with an extremely loving look
  • Said “please do” after he said f*** you
  • random hugs
  • Told him he looked super hot one day, to his face

and the guy is still completely oblivious! He’s shown some signs of liking my bf back, but pretty sure he thinks my bf is straight. Anyways, this has been my drama lately, and I wanted to share


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User Profile: innateJoy9602
innateJoy9602 September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

Hello!

The term lunch table gossip is now my new favorite phrase :P

As I don't know your relationship,

I wonder what your thoughts on this are?

Since you mentioned it is sort of a poly thing, I assume you are okay with it.

Feel free to correct me if I am wrong<3 :)

I appreciate you sharing with us.

All the best! ✨💛

2 replies
User Profile: Princetomyanxiety
Princetomyanxiety OP September 13th, 2022

@innateJoy9602

I’m good with it and I fully support it. Idk, I just wanted to share with people because this is a lot of my life drama right now.

1 reply
User Profile: innateJoy9602
innateJoy9602 September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

That's great!

Feel free to keep sharing with us<3

I appreciate you doing so! 💛✨


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User Profile: HalKhatunBraunDiplomaUKcounselor
HalKhatunBraunDiplomaUKcounselor September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

Maybe try some journaling and see where your thoughts and feelings lead you?

User Profile: Sib88
Sib88 September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

Hello there.

I fully support polyamori, I find it very sweet. I find myself to have a preference for monogamy, but you never know what can unfold in life.

I find it lovely that you have the capacity for allowing your partner to explore this side of himself, and his feelings for his bff. I am very happy for the both of you.

It seems like your boyfriend has made several attempts to make his feelings known to his bff, without feeling any clarity about whether it is welcome, or reciprocated. I will offer my reflection, if that is ok.

Depending on how well your bf and his bff know each other, the bff may find it difficult to decipher the intention behind the romantic hints you listed.

If the bff is unaware of both you and your boyfriends openness to polyamori, I sympathise with the bff's potential confusion. You also mentioned that the bff might believe your bf is heterosexually oriented.

As far as advice goes, I believe the bff especially will benefit from having all relevant info. That way the bff will have a greater clarity about how these feelings can play out, given the chance that they are reciprocated.

Wishing all of you the very best.

User Profile: Nick324
Nick324 September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

These signs are anything but direct. Of course he's not picking up on these signs, because they are not direct at all. Use your words!

User Profile: Sib88
Sib88 September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety

If you would like to eloborate on some other aspects of this topic, please feel free to do so. And please ignore my advicing if it is not what you were looking for. I very much admire the capacity you have for exploring polyamorous feelings in yourself and your partner. I am sorry for the unsupportive feedback you reiceived.


User Profile: Remina
Remina September 13th, 2022

@Princetomyanxiety Hey letting you know I relocated your thread to the relationship space in the relationship & Friendship support community!