Me M21 and my gf F20 were in an online relationship for 1.5 years and I wasn't faithful to her the whole time she found out what do I do
Me and my girlfriend were in an online long distance relationship for 1.5 years and we had a breakup period of a few weeks in which I got with a girl and I was talking to the new girl and the ex simultaneously, I broke up with the girl and went back to my ex because she was the only one to give me peace, recently she find out that I hadn't been honest with her during the relationship and had not been faithful either, we both agreed that I would tell my dad about what I did for her reassurance and I did, she is struggling on how to move on from the past mistakes, she zones out mid conversation because she starts thinking about what I said to other girls etc, she is struggling alot from these constant thoughts though neither of us want to breakup and want to work things out, I feel very guilty about what I did and honestly sometime don't feel worthy of being alive because my girlfriend is a very sweet soul, she is gentle, caring and honestly just perfect and I shattered her trust, betrayed her and wasn't faithful or honest to her, in no way or for am I trying to defend myself for what I did because i know that I am completely at fault, I was wondering if someone could just tell me what we should do so that we can rebuild the trust, she stops thinking about the past and for it to stop affecting her and for us to move on from the past, start fresh, forgive and forget and have a beautiful good future, she goes through phases where she gets anxious that I will leave her and other times she doesn't want to talk to me because of the resentment she has of what I did in the past but later on she regrets the anger she let out, I don't think constantly apologising will fix anything, she knows I'm being honest to her now, she knows I'm faithful to her and agree to all her conditions for her security but she does have these episodes where she zones out and thinks about the past and I don't know what to do now
Hi @intelligentRaspberries2292.
Some things you can do may be working on your spirituality and have therapy with your girlfriend along with not harming her trust anymore.
Time will tell you if the relationship can be salvaged.
Stay positive iRaspberries.,. It's not over yet and No one can predict the future.
If she is feeling the same way a year from now I imagine it would be unfortunate as it would seem she will never forgive you in my own opinion.
Hello there raspberries! My best advice is that yall are both very hurt right now. Your girlfriend is still wounded by what happened, and it seems like she’s trying to move forward but is struggling because the trust was broken. I can also tell that you genuinely regret your actions and want to do everything possible to fix things. Sometimes apologies and gifts alone don’t help because healing usually takes time, consistency, honesty, and patience more than anything else. One of the best things you can do is continue showing appreciation for her efforts to stay and work through things with you instead of only focusing on your guilt. I think it would really help for both of yall to have a deep, honest conversation with no distractions and say how you truly feel. Couple’s therapy and individual counseling could also help both of yall process everything in a healthier way. What you did was wrong, but you’ve taken accountability for it and you’re trying to change, and that matters too. At the same time, her feelings are valid because betrayal can leave deep emotional wounds. Healing will take effort from both sides, not just one person carrying everything alone. Please don’t think hurting yourself is the answer. Guilt is meant to help people grow, not destroy them. I truly hope both of yall are able to find peace, whether that’s together or separately. I’m not a professional therapist, but I really hope this helps even a little bit. But over all im so very sorry for both of yall, your stress and her hurt. I hope yall can move on from this and grow as a team. You love her deeply and it shows. I hope the best for yall ❤️
Im not a professional therapist but thats what im learning in so im not the best with this stuff yet, but ill try to help in anyway possible. I really hope what I said helps a bit and im deeply sorry if it doesn't. I really do hope yall find peace within each other. Have a wonderful day. I hope peace comes yall way.
@intelligentRaspberries2292
Here's my opinion. Ditch the Hollywood fantasy of what love is and how human relationships work. It creates impossible expectations that doom relationships.
Humans are messy. They make mistakes. They break trust.
You made a mistake that you regret. First you need to forgive yourself. Learn from it. Understand why you were so quick to get with someone else. Breakups are painful. Were you able to sit with that pain or did you use dating to avoid it? Learn what drives avoidance. And then use that knowledge to learn how to cope with pain.
Then you will need to grieve the fact that you can't fix this. You can't undo a mistake. The ball is in her court - she will have to decide if she can forgive you. And nothing you can do, other than to be the best person you can, will speed this up. It needs to come from inside her. Possibly you could work thru some online forgiveness worksheets together. That might help you both figure out where the sticking points are. But ultimately you both need to individually figure out how to resolve your own sticking points.
Relationships are tough. Love doesn't exist without pain. How the moments of pain are dealt with, I have found to be far more important in determining the success of a relationship, than the moments of love.
Good luck.
