My boyfriend looks at women twerking and in sexually suggest pics
I just seen that my boyfriend’s instagram explore page is full of women in sexually suggestive clothing and dancing very sexually. That includes twerking, casually shaking their a**** or posting in very very sexually suggestive positions. Seeing all of that really affects my confidence as I’ve always had an issue with my weight and my self-esteem (after years and years of ruthless bullying). Im not afraid to say I do have a low self-esteem and im truly trying to work on it and love myself more but seeing the guy that I love and have been with for 7 years active engage in those post really freaking hurts. I don’t know how to handle this or how to process it. Im afraid to speak about this because all I will get from other communities and people is that im “insecure” and that doesn’t help at all. I just want to get this off my chest.
@CrystalSky21 Questions? Did you tell him how you feel about the situation? What will you do if he was to continue disrespecting you? How will your boyfriend feel if you gave him the ultimatum? How will you both heal from this?
These are the questions to consider. I hope and pray that you both resolve from the dilemma. Big hugs to you!!! 😊♥️🤗
I haven’t spoken to him yet about it because he’s at work and I don’t want to bring it up to him while he’s working. However I do plan on letting him know how this makes me feel. There are times when he gets upset with me when I tell him something that he does makes me feel like crap. For example; I hate to be that person but I absolutely hate it when my S/O watches porn because I believe that long use of porn is not good for anyone. He just told me “guys will be guys and it’s not cheating.” So after hearing that it makes me a bit nervous to let him know that those videos and pictures are not okay with me. I just want someone who has only eyes for me as I only have eyes for him. I would never disrespect him by watching men shirtless with their penis print out to see for everyone.
There’s nothing wrong with having boundaries.
You're fine to not like porn, there’s even been movements to fight against the addiction: https://fightthenewdrug.org/
I’m also speaking as someone who…had/has an addiction to it, and yes, I’m a woman. It’s just that most women don’t really talk about it…
It made me (sadly) extremely desensitized to a lot of things. I know I should probably HATE it, but…I don’t? I’m just numb to it and don’t really care. It’s poorly acted and over the top scenes. I turnt off the volume each time, because it makes me cringe so hard or even laugh at how ridiculous it is.
How would your boyfriend feel if you watched hot half naked/sexy fully nude men like he does women?
If the answer is “he’d be angry/upset with me”, then your boyfriend is being a hypocrite and a jerk, allowing himself to consume that content, but not allowing his girlfriend to. If the answer is “he doesn’t care”, then its a matter of boundaries/compromising. Can you see yourself with someone in the long run who doesn’t respect your boundaries nor willing to compromise with something very important to you in a relationship? My (abusive) ex [who I was in a long term relationship with] used to watch a LOT of porn and go to strip clubs while I took care of our son and he partied. I tried being that “cool girlfriend” who “allows” their boyfriend to go to strip clubs, but you know what? Guys who go there, they go for a reason even if they have a lady back home. I’m not the “cool girlfriend “ anymore and slowly rebuilding up my boundaries that were viciously torn by my ex. I used to watch a lot of porn in our relationship… because I couldn’t get intimate with someone who physically and verbally abused me often. I obliged to my ex after awhile out of fear if he wanted something from me. [Not excusing watching porn, just…saying my reasoning behind it at the time…]
Anyhow, I hope all goes well for you @CrystalSky21. Relationships aren’t always easy.
Please take care!
My boyfriend had that on Facebook. It's not pleasant to watch. When I ask him, he says it's normal and I'm jealous and crazy... And the worst part is that I believe it, and I think I really am crazy...
Initially, I tried to treat it normally. So he looks and looks, he loves me. But then, I came across an article https://signscheating.com/facebook-cheating-signs/ in which there was an analysis of cheating, just the same on Facebook. And then, I realized that it's not just watching videos of beautiful girls, it's real cheating. You will probably think that I am exaggerating, but it is just that his behavior was fully described by this article. when I asked him directly if he was cheating, he admitted that he was. And that girl he was constantly looking at on the internet is the girl he is cheating with.
@CrystalSky21 , what if your boyfriend finds it interesting and its normal for him to be like that ? Are those pictures of his alone or along with his friends? If he has a need and decide to go out for his fantasy? I dont think its a problem as long his intentions are clear.
I have that stuff when I had a girlfriend I just put women she doesn't have to compete with on there hes not touching real thing is best I put them on there sometimes to take my mind of stuff nothing bad about it if it makes you feel really bad you got to remember there videos or pics you're the real deal an the cure all
