Need help with current relationship
My boyfriend and I have only been together for a couple of weeks now. But due to past trauma experiences with my past ex’s (physically and mentally abuse) it’s hard for me to fully trust that this guy is legit. I feel attacked when we argue. I lash out for no apparent reason sometimes. And we will fight for hours. It isn’t all me, he has some to do with it as well. We love each other I just honestly don’t know how to get better. I feel like a crazy bitch at times.
@enthusiasticOwl2667
Hi--I'm really sorry that you had that experience of being physically and mentally abused by your past ex's. 💜 It's completely understandable that you'd feel like it's really hard to trust someone new. It's common to feel defensive and to be on the lookout for danger after having experienced something extreme like that. Just intuitively, it makes a lot of sense that if you've had a whole bunch of relationship experiences that were really dangerous/difficult, there would be this fear of that happening again.
https://www.verywellmind.com/hypervigilance-2797363
Here are a few resources I was able to find that have some tips for dating after having gone through an abusive experience.
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/relationships/starting-a-new-relationship-after-abuse
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-after-emotional-abuse/
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/if-youre-dating-again-after-abusive-relationship-heres-what-experts-recommend-28783784
If you're looking for someone to chat with, HERE is a list of experienced listeners who accept chats on PTSD/trauma and have lived experience with this issue. 7 Cups also has a Trauma community if that's of interest.