Need relationship advice.

@bubblecup17 It’s sounding like your boyfriend is caring more about sex than your relationship, and your feelings. Have a think about whether this is really the level of maturity and respect you want in your relationship.

I'm looking at different perspectives but he should understand about the s*x part and stuffs. About anniversaries you dont need to force him to plan stuffs just say Happy Anniversary and cuddle him would be good. If he rlly put your past back again thats not healthy darling you should ask him why is he bringing that up, its in the past and im not in control of that before we even get together u knoe like i cant do anything about it past is past. Ask him if he wants to continue and work things out in a calm way. You guys talk about this that's the only way you could understand what he feels and how he could understand your side as well.

@bubblecup17

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I do my best to spend time with him but there will be days I am drained from work and I just rest(sleep). (Thats understandable. They are days where you will be fine, but then the drain days will be more often because of the pandemic and other things) Due to being tired from work, he and I don't get intimate as much. Plus there be sometime things he did or do that put me off it and also I'm not much of that kind of a person. (I see he has been doing and saying certain things that perhaps is pushing you away from him, and then it's leading to disconnection) So, through these times we had fair amount of arguments about it. He get mad at me for not giving s** and he would bring my past relationships as a argument point. (I can tell he's having unreasonable expectations on this area. He expects you to be intimate with him regardless of how you feel, and this will make you feel as some sort object and not safe in the relationship. It's not okay for him to bring things of your past relationship, it's coming off as manipulative to make you do what he wants) I told him I'm tired and don't feel like doing it. And he won't take it as an answer. (He's more focus on what he wants, trying to force his will on you, and ignoring how this is making you feel.) Over time he came to accept it and let me be. Now, another thing happening is I notice many times he would not talk to me about things. Things that bother him or things that stress him out etc and or even small stuff like he injured himself or whatever he would go find his mom for help instead of me. I'm always the last person. Not to compare me with his mom. (Usually the loyalty a partner feels for their parents gets transferred to their romantic partner, but on this cases he has not separated from his parents. This will cause major issues on the relationship because he has not become an individual being separate from his parents) Of course mom be the important person in everyone's life but there be times and things is between 2 ppl in relationship to do, solve or talk about. (I completely agree with you here) I don't even feel like he see me as his gf. (It's normal you feel this way, especially with the things you have mentioned up to this point) Anytime we try to talk things out he would get so stress out and end the conversation and leave the room to be with his parents. (This is a red flag here, there's a strong indication he's not able to handle confrontation or a conversation about the relationship since it's scary for him, and this will always lead him to stonewall you. Things will never get resolved if he keeps handling things this way) I kid you not, he would tell them everything! Even things you don't want them to know. Oh, and also, our anniversary. He didn't even gave a sh**. I asked him nicely to plan something. Anything. He didn't. I ended up suggesting to go for dinner. I chose the restaurant. I just don't know what to do. (You were direct in what you wanted, he didn't put consideration into how you feel, and this probably caused you to feel even more disconnected) Did I brought this upon myself for not wanting to have s** and busy with getting my life together for our future sake? (No this has nothing to do with what's going on, however there's a good chance you have been ignoring how you feel and his behavior. I personally think he can't handle any kind of relationship, and won't be able to meet your needs. You can consider a future with him if you'd like, but nothing good will come out of having some kind of future with him. I don't think things will improve, and you will only get further hurt continuing with this relationship) I'm sorry is long. And sound like I'm complaining. But pls help

Hello everyone. Thank you for all your advice. Just checking in. Haha. I haven't openly spoken to my bf at this stage. Have not come across any good time to talk to him yet. Reading all your advice truly helped kept my mind at manageable stage. Oddly enough it helped calm my mind. I didn't feel so down in the pit of darkness :). Thank you to all.