Need some advice about boyfriend
I am new to 7 cups and this is my first post here, so please bear with me. I have had some recent issues with my boyfriend, and I could use some advice. I found some flirty/dirty messages on his phone that he sent to another girl along with pictures of his penis. Seeing this absolutely destroyed my trust in him, especially because he promised me countless times that nothing like this would ever happen (I have been cheated on in the past and had a lot of insecurities about this). When I confronted him about it, he said that he didn't have a good reason for why he did it other than that he was looking for validation, but that he regretted it the moment it happened. He also said that he had no intention of meeting up with or sleeping with her, despite what his messages said. We have been together for over 2 years and I have always considered him to be my soul mate and the love of my life. I cannot imagine spending my life with anyone else. But right now, I am terrified that if I give him a second chance, he will do this again, and I don't know how to rebuild that trust with him. And I have heard countless times that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. I need advice on what to do. Do I try to rebuild trust and take the risk that it will happen again to save our relationship? Or do I protect myself from the possibility of this happening again and leave? If we work things out, how do we rebuild that trust? Any advice is greatly appreciated because I am so lost and confused right now. Thank you.
Something stands out to me. He said he regretted it the moment he sent it... yet he never came clean about it, say, the moment he “regretted it.” On his own. You had to find out for yourself. YOU had to confront him. The truth is, he had many opportunities to stop. First, he had to pose. Could’ve stopped then. He then had to take a picture, or multiple pictures. Could’ve stopped then. He then had to search for the girl’s number on his phone. Look at her name. A name which isn’t yours. Could’ve stopped then. He then had to attach his picture, and click send. Could’ve stopped then. But, he didn’t. He didn’t stop. This was a process. And he had every opportunity to stop and think “hey, maybe I shouldn’t.” “My girlfriend deserves better.” “My girlfriend has been cheated on before. This would destroy her.” But, he did it anyway. He made every single one of those choices. Sometimes, there is no way to repair the trust. Especially when it comes to this. You already have insecurities about this from past relationships. Relationships that ended years ago. Yet, you’re still dealing with the repercussions of the betrayal. How is this any different? And how exactly are you going to “work things out?” Are you going to check his phone every week? Every day? Ask for all his passwords? Keep tabs on him? Stalk him? Ask yourself... is this what you want to do? Is this what you deserve to be spending so much emotional and mental energy on? I think you know you deserve better.. But in the end, you know yourself best. You found the proof, so do with that what you will. But always, ALWAYS trust your gut-instinct. That won’t ever lie to you. I’m so sorry you have to go through this to begin with... my heart goes out to you 💜 and I sincerely hope you’ll be able to heal.