Taking a relationship break
I made a longer post under relationship stress - general but no one replied. So I’m posting again… My boyfriend and I recently decided to take a break instead of breaking up. This break is exclusive and is more like getting some space.
I've been stressed out about it and it has been hard because we usually talk everyday. Im just wondering whether breaks in a relationship ever actually work to bring two people back together again or if I’m just delaying the inevitable?
@lovestruck723
breaks can help or like you say delay the inevitable......... the difference may be the reasons behind break.
For some the absence reminds them they enjoy their partner company more then they realize
if it is space and time to reflect and think deeply .... IMO this seldom works as out of site out of mind and they procrastinate on dealing with real issues.....
Thanks for responding. I do think that he has enjoyed my company. He has said in the past that I’m his best friend and I was the first gf he actually enjoyed being around because I actually showed an interest in the things he wanted to do. Things were great for the first 2 years but this year we have been bickering and bumping heads more often and I feel like he is just frustrated with that. He said he feels like we lost our spark. He also did say he wanted time to reflect and see if he misses me. I guess I just wish I knew what he was thinking
@lovestruck723
taking a break in the relationship is definitely hard since I am also going through one as well. But was the break a mutual thing?
Reading that he said he wanted a break to see if he misses you seems like he is kinda waiting for the inevitable to happen. You can ask him about it if you feel you uneasy about it or take this time to definitely work on yourself and be the best version of you during this time.
I am sorry to hear that. Yea it has been tough. He initiated the conversation (I also think he was just frustrated because he had still been doing loving gestures and telling me he loves me this month… so it is confusing) but when he was talking about the possibility of breaking up it sounded like he just wanted space cause he mentioned possibly coming back (again it was confusing). He also was under the impression that I didn’t believe in taking a break which wasn’t completely true (I don’t believe in taking a break and seeing other people). So then we both agreed that taking a break was what we wanted to do right now. I guess I’ve just never had to do this before and so I started over thinking things.
I do think I should give him space though so I probably won’t ask him anything until he is ready to have a conversation. I feel like you’re right i probably should just focus on myself. It has been hard though.
For anyone who is wondering he actually came back 5 days after we agreed to take the break, apologized and said that he missed me and wanted to work on things. The break has been beneficial for us because we were both able to gain some perspective and realize what we needed to do in order to better ourselves and to make the relationship better. We are still taking time apart to work on things but I’m happy that he realized he was making a mistake.
If anyone is going through something similar my advice is to take the time to self reflect and work on your goals. Doing self care can help make you feel more in tune with yourself and what you want. Also just try to stay busy and you can even create a to do list. These are things that helped me get through those difficult days.