The best relationship advice I have received is…
Hi everyone! Sometimes someone says something that we have never thought of before. Words can be enlightening. Think of all the relationship suggestions/advice given to you.
What has been a game changer?
@Hope What has been a game changer?
The best relationship I have received is that you cannot 'save' them nor change them. They are responsible for themselves, and I am responsible for myself
@KateDoskocilova
Can relate to this!
My long term alcoholic ex-fiancé grew up in an abusive home, and wanted me to "save" him but in the end, he physically, verbally, and financially abused me. Did heavy drugs behind my back too...
Then, I had dated my little brother's best friend for close a year, he also grew up in a broken home and wanted me to basically have me save him from himself (he was a drug addict and alcoholic, though never abusive physically, but he did use me financially, very sneaky).
Both of them tried changing me too, to fit their ideal woman, but weren't willing to change themselves.
Now? I'm free as a bird!
Because I know how it feels, I'm not going to change anyone...it sucks. And I don't really want to save anyone anymore, I'm tired. I've saved many friends too, and its taking a toll on me.
Anyways, I agree, this is really good advice!
@Hope
embracing and celebrating individuality.
@Hope put urself first
@Hope
Recently, I am learning to have vulnerable conversations about what’s really bothering me instead of being defensive or having a victim mentality.
I want to join this group. How do I do that?
hello there @4Jasmine ! you want to join the subcommunity? you can simply do it by clicking on and then by clicking on the “join community” button :)https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/
“If you haven’t done anything genuinely offensive, there is nothing to be sorry for.”
People who are especially prone to people pleasing have a tendency to think of every possible thing they could have done wrong. Sometimes it’s important to remind yourself (or have others remind you) that if you were following any guidelines set in place and trying your best, there’s no need to feel like someone else’s bad day is your fault, even if they take it out on you.
Share EVERYTHING. Integrate with your partner. Even with the little things, the conversations you have with others, all that
