What would you do?
My boyfriend of 6 years just told me last night that he cheated on me while I was out of town for my birthday visiting family. We are in a very serious and committed relationship, and we coparent his child with his ex together. The worst part is, he not only cheated on me, he cheated on me with a prostitute and I might have been exposed to an STI. This is a complete shocker to me, we have been having issues but he has never done anything like this in our relationship. He has a lot of issues when it comes to cheating in any form, and cheating is his “dealbreaker” despite the fact that he just cheated on me. I am so shocked by this right now I honestly don’t know how to feel, but I do feel really sad and disappointed and disgusted to say the least. We have been to therapy before but stopped because, up until now, he has had no desire for therapy and any outside help. IMO, he has a very addictive personality and I’m scared and worried that he might do this again even though he says (of course) that he never will. I’m ashamed and embarrassed and we were planning to get married and even measure my ring finger soon so this is all a shock to me. I feel like I’m in a dream, watching my life on a television set as if it didn’t even belong to me. I am hurt and angry but still feel for him and see this as a signal for help but idk what to do or how to move forward. What would you do?
@faithfulWater1444
If I get this correct, you are helping with a child that is his and not yours, he cheated on you, exposed you to a STD. If I were you, I would be consider ending the relationship. You do not deserve that kind of treatment and people who are able to cheat like that will do it again. At this point, staying with him will show that his behavior is okay.
I believe that he does need help. But being in a relationship is not going to help him. You staying with him is not going to help him. You trying to "fix" him while being in that relationship is not going to help him.
He hurt you on so many levels including putting you in harms way (the STD). Mistakes happen, but that's a mistake that could ruin his life and yours. He was reckless and at some point needs to work on himself alone. Not being able to lean and fall back on someone who is comfortable might give him a push.
-I hope this reply finds you well :)