Absolute lack of sex life
Greetings. Speaking with a listener, after asked about my sex life i mentioned that i never had one and the only thing close i have is masturbation.
Since i have major issues trying to get a relationship, for me sex is not enjoyable if i don't have a careful bond with that person. But trying to get that bond takes me a lot of time, at least 9 or 12 months.
Listener said that my lack of sex life is not healthy, but no one wants to be with me and if i go with someone it will be noticed that i don't have the experience expected for some one of my age (i'm 37).
Why is not healthy the lack of sex?
Besides if i want to be with someone i am so clear that i don't want any children from my blood. (Other stoery that is not so related here)
@JohnDoe00 The only thing I can think of for why it would be unhealthy is because of the necessary phisiological response that males have. Of course, masturbation would solve that.
Whether or not you have sex is really up to you and not for anyone else to judge. My concern would be the importance of closeness with a person. However, in today's world of one night stands, the physical closeness actually becomes detrimental because it is physical closeness with too many people all the time, which is far more unhealthy.
I'm sorry that you found a listener who judged as "unhealthy" something that is simply natural. Everyone has different needs, and if you need a deep connection with a person before having sex, that's completely ok! You shouldn't feel obliged to force yourself to do something you don't want just for the sake of saying "I've done it". On the contrary, pushing yourself against your own natural inclination will make you even more uncomfortable and you'd feel more stuck than before. The only way to have a healthy sexual life is to follow your needs and only do what makes you feel comfortable. If that includes waiting longer, so be it! And until that moment, you can keep taking care of your physical needs by yourself, so that both your physical and your emotional side will be in balance.
Remember, when it comes to sex, following your nature is the only thing that can make you happy. There's nothing wrong in how you feel and everything wrong in judging people for having their specific needs.