Bf Wants me to stop...
Hi, my bf and I have been together for almost 3yrs and we are also long distance. Weve done things a few times but we often have to result to masturbating together virtually. We both enjoy what fun we can have together while being away for the time being, but there are times where Hes not around or wants to sleep and Im stressed. I dont want to feel bad about doing that by myself watching porn or not watching porn. Either way he feels insecure about it, which I can understand. Why are you watching them if Im here, and when Im not here why cant you wait? But often times that means at least 12hrs until then because we have very different schedules. Maybe this wouldnt be so bad if I hadnt started masterbating when I was single before him, but I did because its my body, but I also dont want to hurt my bf when I keep making promises that I wont do it. I guess the main issue is that, it wouldnt be a problem if he could do it fully on his own, but the thing is it would take him twice as long, he says and hed rather just wait for me. Idk if I just have a higher sex drive at times but its putting a great strain on the trust in our relationship. Does anyone have any ideas on what we should do?
@Muffinss646
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship if your boyfriend is basically telling you to stop masturbating or watching porn because he doesn't like it. Watching porn and masturbating happens even when people are in relationships and it's perfectly healthy. It's unhealthy to request someone to stop doing it because they have an issue with it. Continue doing what you want to do - it is your body and he is not entitled to control what you do with it. If he doesn't like it, then it's his problem and he needs to solve whatever issues he has because almost every female watches porn and/or masturbates. I'm sure he wouldn't stop doing it himself if you told him to.
@SilentSerenityy
thats the thing, he doesn't do that stuff because he'd rather wait for me and I seen like I can't. He also waits because he feels more comfortable with me than taking twice as long watching porn and not building a connection
@Muffinss646
@Muffinss646
@Muffinss646
@Muffinss646
@Muffinss646
@Muffinss646 sorry, Idk why it did that, I was trying to say that it is not your fault that you have two different comfort levels with masturbation and two different libidos. You're two unique people. If he can't respect that then it might not be a good match.
@Muffinss646
hi Im David and I also keep my gf from masterbating because I feel like its kinda like cheating, because shouldnt I be the only one she masterbates to? Cause Im positive she doesnt want me jerking off to other girls while shes out so I trust her to not fck herself to other guys. Idk if ur situation is similar to mine but weva also been dating 3 years virtually
@MesaNdavid you shouldn't see it as ''cheating'' It's near impossible that you and your girlfriend share the same exact fantasies and have a 100% identical sex-drive. Masturbation and your relationship are two fully separate things, yes you can do it together but you should also allow the other to explore their own sexuality, this usually results in your sex life improving.
Don't kid yourself that you are her ULTIMATE sexual fantasy, alot of woman masturbate to gay porn just like alot of guys masturbate to lesbian porn.
Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you suddenly are the owner of the other, you CHOSE to be together.
Forcing someone to share your point of view because you are insecure is something i consider to be abusive behaviour.
Think about that.
@Muffinss646 Thank you for sharing.
You should do w/e you think feels right, masturbation and your relationship with your boyfriend are two fully separate things, You CAN do it together but you shouldn't HAVE to, Masturbation (aka Self Exploration) is something private, something you don't have to share with anyone else. You shouldn't feel sorry about doing it alone, because you are in a relation doesn't mean your are eachothers owners, you are both still your own individual persons who CHOSE to be together.
If you only masturbate with and about it him you will only deny yourself to explore your own sexual fantasies and desires and therefor your own identity. Again, DO W/E YOU WANT TO DO! if you want to make it easier for yourself, just do it and just don't tell him about it... again it's something private you really REALLY shouldn't feel guilty about it. You are 100% normal!
Take care and good luck!