Disappointment
Hello there, my boyfriend said our sex life is disappointing because I can't have sex like a porn star. We were each other's firsts and had the pornstar standards of me since the first time we did it together. And still does 4 years later. I don't know what to do, he won't tell me what I can do to make it better for him.
@intelligentAvocado8214
Hey there.
This definitely seems like a situation where communication is key. And with any intimiate relationship, mutual respect of feelings is so important.
It's great that you are aware of his needs and what he wants; I would hope that he is also aware of yours as well :)
Communication is important, and it sounds like you two are doing well there. But porns are mostly extremely unrealistic representation of what sex in real life is like.
Maybe he can't tell you because he doesn't know. I mean, you both were each other's firsts. That means that neither of you have had the experience that comes with having multiple partners with different styles.
My advice would be this: if the sex has become less fulfilling, cut back. Less is often much more. The more often you do something, the less meaningful and exciting it feels. It begins to feel routine. Having longer breaks between sex will make it feel more exciting. Also, try out new things, maybe stuff you don't see in porns.
But remember...life is not a porn movie. The more adventurous you get in sex, and the more often you do it, then the harder and more adventurous you'll have to get to keep it feeling good. Eventually, it'll all come crashing down.