Hookups vs Relationships
Hey guys so, the way I was brought up I'm a pretty old school person, not the whole sex before marriage thing but I do think that sex should be done in an intimate relationship only, no hook ups, no friends with benefits. I've always strongly said no to doing any sort of thing like that. ... However, I've come to realize, in today's society guys don't care about falling in love anymore. All guys want is a quick night with a girl and if it happens to be the same girl every night as long as they're getting sex it doesn't matter to them. So often I hear people talking about being intimate with other people, and of course I want a boyfriend but I know that's not something possible in todays society so I've made up my mind that I'm just going to make myself have sex with a guy to get it over with.
With that decision made comes the actual action of going through with it, my only problem is that I have severe sexual anxiety to the point where I have little to no sex drive and even kissing a guy makes me feel sick, so
I just wanted some advice from girls who like to hook up, how do you bring yourself to be so intimate with a guy you don't even know, also what are some ways to overcome sexual anxiety?
I've seen some advice saying to communicate with your partner but a hookup isn't exactly a partner and guys don't like to wait around they just want a quick pleasure experience so I don't know what to do and I just want advice I'm not changing my mind on this plan. Thanks!
I am not a woman, but I would like to respond as a guy who had quite a few hookups. First of all, I think at least your first time should be with someone you trust, it is a time that you will remember forever. Besides that way he can be understanding of how you feel. You don't want somebody bragging about that he was you and what it was like.
Even if there is no real relationship a guy should be respectful of you, if they can't do that they do not deserve the gift of your intimacy.
Then when you do, just relax and enjoy it, it can be a really beautiful experience when you manage to relax.
I only now saw your message. I believe that if to you sex means something deep and intimate, you shouldn't force yourself to do it in a manner that doesn't feel good to you. It can only make your idea of sex and relationships worse. Sex is not mandatory, you should do that only if, when and with whom you believe it would be good. Doing it just for the sake of doing it, with no real drive or pleasure, can only give you uncomfort. If you connect sex with love or at least intimacy, it's ok to wait until you find the right one! Some people are luckier than others and find someone early, others need to wait more, but find the wait to be worth it.
No one should make you feel like you must have sex. It's ok to only do that when you feel comfortable. Forcing yourself is never good. It's also understandable to be discouraged about finding love, but you should never lose hope, I know it sounds like a catchphrase but truly many people found it when they were least expecting it. It's ok to wish for love and settle for nothing less. It's ok to be true to your own needs and wishes, and not society's expectations.
